No Christmas Gift Pardons For Trump Children
Santa Claus Trump will be passing on his children and the son-in-law’s gift pardons before leaving office. It seems there is a giant conflict. What? By accepting pardons, the Trump kids and the son-in-law would be admitting that they broke the…
Read full storyMan Finds Out He Is Going To Have To Do The Same Amount Of Work, For 40% Less Money
There was a nasty surprise in store for one man last week, when a meeting with his supervisor alerted him to the fact that, for the forseeable future, he is going to have to do exactly the same amount of work he usually does, but will be paid only 60…
Read full storyPresident Trump Says His Personal $3.2 Million Stimulus Check is in Fact Legal
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The president has informed Anderson Cooper of “60 Minutes” that his $3.2 government stimulus check to himself is totally legal and within the guidelines of the presidency. Trump said that section 8, paragraph 9,…
Read full storyThe One Show Christmas day special is just the Queen's Speech
Now that racist Aunt Gladys and slightly strange Uncle Bob will not be visiting you for Christmas or Boxing Day, we'd better remind you about the Queen's Speech. Although Elizabeth will occasionally refer to herself as One, this isn't a special Ch…
Read full storyJimmy Cracks Corn, Gets 20 Years
(Hambone, Alabama)–Jimmy Gadfly was sentenced to 20 years for cracking corn as if no one cared. According to witnesses, Jimmy was often observed cracking corn, and was repeatedly asked to stop, but adamantly refused. “I saw Jimmy sitting over ther…
Read full storyDo you believe that Dave on the Internet tells you?
Following the introduction of Tier 4, and severe restrictions during Christmas and the New Year, Dave from the Internet has been spouting his usual bullshit. No, Dave, you thinking about this doesn't make you an expert. No, Dave, we would rather…
Read full storyMoses spotted in Charing Cross Underground station organising mass exodus from London!
(NOT EDITED) Divine intervention is happening all over the UK before Christmas as religious icons are spotted doing their good deeds after Boris Johnson and his Conservative cohorts failed miserably! It required 'help from above', so God decided t…
Read full storyCovid-free Cabinet hit by Measles and other Ills
With God and the world watching out for the coronavirus, the British cabinet has been hit by a glut of bugs and disorders it could well do without. Health Secretary, Matt Hancock, has gone down with German Measles. "I wasn't expecting this," he cr…
Read full storyTiger and Charlie Woods – Like Father, Like Son
ORLANDO, Florida – (Sports Satire) – Eleven-year-old Charlie Woods has the greatest golf coach in the world - his daddy, Eldrick Tont Woods, (aka Tiger Woods). Tiger told Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated that his little boy first pick…
Read full storyTexts From The Famous & Infamous (12/20/20)
The following text messages were compiled by Pico de Gallo, reporter with Tittle Tattle Tonight. De Gallo was born and raised in Avocado Heights, California. He has published several books on trivia, including his first book, “The Trivia Book of Con…
Read full storyThe U.S. Hurricane Center Issues a Major Announcement
MIAMI – (Satire News) – The United States Hurricane Center has decided to make a change to the traditional manner of naming hurricanes alphabetically using male and female names. USHC Executive Director Frances Honeybush, 29, has stated that in th…
Read full storyCOVID-19 Vaccinations Going Well, With Few Problems
The COVID-19 vaccination programme, which was given the green light to go ahead in the UK, despite its failure to meet normal 'checking protocols', is progressing well, according to the government, with few problems. Vaccinations were allowed to c…
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