(NOT EDITED) Divine intervention is happening all over the UK before Christmas as religious icons are spotted doing their good deeds after Boris Johnson and his Conservative cohorts failed miserably!
It required 'help from above', so God decided to send one of his favourite messengers down to a London Underground Station to help organise a massive exodus out of London! Millions of City office and shop workers were seen bolting for railway stations, bus stations and underground stations in a mad stampede hoping to escape Tier 4 before Christmas!
Jesus was spotted up north, as reported by 'Holy Jaggedone' yesterday, and now his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters, nibbling at a few dry morsels binned by escaping commuters in Charing Cross Underground Station, clocked Moses telling people in panic; "The end is not nigh! I have been sent to help you escape the pandemic plague!"
Many commuters did not heed to the holy word of Moses, jammed themselves into trains and buses, without masks or social-distancing, in a last-minute attempt to escape. Sadly, there will be no redemption for those who ignored Moses dressed in a London Underground uniform.
Those who ignored Jehovah Witnesses praying for their miserable lives, and listened to Moses instead, headed for the River Thames. He parted the waves, they crossed safely, and are now safe perched on the Isle of Dogs where Black Lives do not matter (Footy fans will know the cryptic solution to that one).
"Well, a dog's life is better than no life," claimed many believers. Those who were saved will now be transported to a land of milk and honey somewhere between Devon and Cornwall! Boris Johnson was spotted begging to get on board the 'Love Train’, but Moses told him to 'Fuck Off Big Time' and head back to Nr.10 where the mad exodus stampede started in the first place!