Trump: Paint Virus Victim’s Toes And Gums Purple And Give Them A Laxative
BILLINGSGATE POST: After being blistered by the press for recommending that Covid-19 patients could be cured by rinsing out their system with Clorox and having a infra-red light bulb dropped down their esophagus, CNN’s Jim Acosta asked President Tru...
Read full storyThe Meat Of The Tale
A notorious Carlisle steak thief has finally being apprehended after police used “baited meat” to lure him into a Londis in rural Cumbria. Thief, David Pattison, who looks like the back of a spoon had a baby with the Goblin King from Labyrinth, was...
Read full storyCharles Darwin, 'On The Origin Of Species', Spotted In Hindley Charity Shop
It's always a nice surprise to find something unexpected when one is rummaging around in charity or secondhand shops, and that was precisely what one man experienced as he rifled through some book shelves in a shop in Hindley, near Wigan. Moys Ken...
Read full storyWith Help of Preventive Measures, Health-Conscious Nashvillians Support Essential Small Businesses by Buying Cigarettes Locally
Concerned about his 0.1- to one-percent risk of dying from COVID-19 but wishing to support local essential small businesses in economically challenging times, 33-year-old Brian Lewis of Nashville, Tennessee, continues to buy his cigarettes in person...
Read full storyMajor Tom "Over the Moon" at Promotion
A WAR veteran who raised millions for the NHS by walking around his house has been promoted in rank from captain to major. Major Tom Moore says his next venture is in space, where he hopes to go around his capsule "in a most peculiar way". The...
Read full storyThe State of Georgia Has Become The Nation’s Coronavirus Guinea Pig
ATLANTA – The governor of Georgia has decided to toss the dice and put the health of every man, woman, and child in the “Peach State” in jeopardy. Governor Brian Meinkemp, a staunch Republican, has said that the economy of Georgia is suffering, an...
Read full storyScientists at NASA Now Admit That the Big Dipper is Really Not as Big as Everyone Thinks It Is
HOUSTON – A group of extremely brilliant scientists at NASA have made an amazing discovery regarding the Big Dipper (aka Ursa Major). After implementing a brand new state-of-the-art extremely-high-powered telescope, that was produced on the Paci...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Said He is Smitten With Kim Jong-un’s Little Sister Kim Yo-jong
PYONGYANG, North Korea – Former NBA basketball star, Dennis Rodman, has been friends with North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un since Columbus Day of 2013. Rodman, who stands 6-foot-7-inches tall, clearly towers over Kim, who stands 5-foot-7-inc...
Read full storyMitch McConnell Gives President Trump The Names of Three Prominent People Who He Says Where Born in Kenya
FRESNO, California – Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, 78, and his wife Elaine “Cookie” Chao, 67, traveled to California to visit Elaine’s step-sister Ling Ling Moo-Moo. While there, McConnell was asked by the left coast media, why he has 6...
Read full storyLocal Man Feels Vindicated in the Way He Wears His Mask
(Weston, West Virginia) Flip “Chibs” Teller, local resident here and part-time member of the Wild Yard Sons of Junk Hog Dogs motorcycle gang, had nothing but praise for Vice President Pence when he confirmed that Chibs was, indeed, wearing his mask p...
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