FRESNO, California – Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, 78, and his wife Elaine “Cookie” Chao, 67, traveled to California to visit Elaine’s step-sister Ling Ling Moo-Moo.
While there, McConnell was asked by the left coast media, why he has 603 bills sitting idly on his senate desk.
He replied that it’s not really 603. When told that the number was actually 634, "Old Turtle Face" became quite upset, and his jowls started quivering like a feral pig in heat.
He quickly changed the subject, and said that he is going to talk to the president, and tell him that he believes that Dr. Anthony Fauci, Gov. Andrew Cuomo, and sex symbol, Jennifer Lopez, were all born in Kenya.
When told by reporters that that was a damn lie, and that it would only be a total waste of time, “Moscow Mitch” became very huffy, and said, “Well, that’s the same thing they said about Benjamin Franklin, and old Bennie boy ended up inventing electricity, a stove, and the $50 bill."
[WRITER’S NOTE: Franklin is actually on a $100 bill. Dr. Fauci was born in Brooklyn. Gov. Cuomo was born Queens. And J.Lo was born in the Bronx.]