Trump: Paint Virus Victim’s Toes And Gums Purple And Give Them A Laxative

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 30 April 2020

image for Trump: Paint Virus Victim’s Toes And Gums Purple And Give Them A Laxative

BILLINGSGATE POST: After being blistered by the press for recommending that Covid-19 patients could be cured by rinsing out their system with Clorox and having a infra-red light bulb dropped down their esophagus, CNN’s Jim Acosta asked President Trump if he had another promising cure to recommend.

“Another ‘gotcha question,’ Jimbo? You’re a disgrace. I always knew you weren’t going any where.”

“But to answer your question: I have tremendous respect for my staff of doctors. But I know, instinctively - as he pointed to his head - that they don’t know what I know.”

“I just got off the phone with Doc Daneeka. He was the squadron physician in the novel Catch-22 by Joseph Heller. To identify hypochondriacs, who were trying to get out of flying missions, he told his staff to paint their gums and toes with gentian violet and give them a laxative to throw away in the bushes. Doc said that he also found that this remedy worked for almost anything, including malaria, dengue fever and fear of flying.”

The President then took off his shoes and socks and opened his mouth, exposing his purple toes and gums.

“As you can see, I am trying this remedy myself. So far, my tests have been negative.”

Slim: “First time a President has ever taken his shoes and socks off in a briefing.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Hope he never has a prostate exam.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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