New PM Boris Johnson Succeeds in Bringing Unity to the Country
Charlatan. Liar. Narcissist. Unfit. Shambolic. Ramshackle. Incompetent. Arsehole. These are a few of the kinder epithets which have been thrown at Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson over the years, yet, somehow, today he finds himself ensconced b...
Read full storyFailing Mueller Brain Implant Affects Investigation
WASHINGTON DC - The Democrats called Robert Mueller to testify in a Congressional Hearing about the Special Counsel investigation regarding accusations that Donald Trump acted as an agent of the KGB. Unfortunately, it appears that Mueller's performan...
Read full storyIceland Is Melting
An environmental crisis is unfolding in the north Atlantic, after it was revealed that, due to global warning and climate change, Iceland is melting. The Nordic island country with a population of just under 358,781 used to have an area of 103,000...
Read full storyNew Prime Minister Boris Johnson Pledges to Nationalise Wetherspoons
Bombast, bullshit and bollocks were the order of the day in Parliament today, as so-called Prime Minister Boris Johnson outlined his plans for the future of the not-so-United Kingdom. After a dressing-down from Her Majesty the Queen on Wednesday a...
Read full storyHot Weather To Continue Until It Cools Down A Bit
Weather forecasters across Europe have said that the searing temperatures that are currently causing so much discomfort to so many people in so many countries, shows no sign of letting up, and is set to continue until it cools off a bit. The heat,...
Read full storyManhattan Man Diagnosed with Existential Insomnia
After months of lying awake at night unable to catch more than the occasional brief, restless wink, concerned that he might have sleep apnea or some sort of mild epileptic disorder, Matthew Cooper visited his doctor, only to learn that he was sufferi...
Read full storyMueller hides behind couch after whipping
Washington ‘Swamp’ D.C. - CSPANT Cable News Nutwork reports that Mule-Error received a cruel horse-whipping early this morning. Reportedly, he won’t be able to sit for weeks. Southern plantation slave owners abused the poor old crime-hound until he...
Read full storyBoris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister
Stanley Johnson, the father of new British prime minister, Boris Johnson, has revealed how he can't quite believe that his "wayward, soft-arse son" has made it all the way to the top of the pile, and is now about to assume control of the country.
Read full storyWoman Blames Oven For Burning Her Husband's Tea
A bad workman always blames his tools, and bad workwomen can also be added into that discriminatory statement this evening, after a woman who burnt her husband's tea "to a cinder" tried, unsuccessfully, to attach some sort of culpability to the oven...
Read full storyMueller Testimony: Republicans Scream at Republican Hired by Republicans to Investigate Republicans
Washington - The House of Representatives conducted hearings Wednesday, featuring Russian Investigation Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller, answering questions about his report on the obstruction of justice and conspiracy probe involving the Presiden...
Read full storyGiants to be Replaced in NL West by Cucamonga Quakes?
San Francisco, CA.The rattling and rolling out West may soon get worse! Until their current streak of eight wins in the last 10 games, the San Francisco Giants were reportedly facing removal from the National League West. That the temporary .800 w...
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