Boris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 July 2019

image for Boris Johnson's Dad Astounded That His 'Daft Lad' Son Has Become Prime Minister
It's going to be fun, fun, fun! And disasters, shambles and catastrophes

Stanley Johnson, the father of new British prime minister, Boris Johnson, has revealed how he can't quite believe that his "wayward, soft-arse son" has made it all the way to the top of the pile, and is now about to assume control of the country.

Stanley Johnson, 78, is an author, and, although he doesn't write fiction, claims that, even on his best literary form, he could never have dreamt up anything quite as fictitional as his nutty offspring becoming PM, calling it "fantastical".

"He's a daft lad, pure and simple," said Johnson Snr. "Doesn't know his arse from his elbow. God only knows what kind of muppets have had the wool pulled over their eyes for them to have voted for Boris to get the job! Bloody hell fire!"

And he warned there may be surprises up ahead:

"We never know what the bloody clown will do next! His mouth works faster than his brain. Always getting into scrapes, like that one recently with his bird. Divorce, sacking, resignation, disgrace - all words that go hand-in-hand with Boris. Keep your heads down, and your wits handy!"

Asked whether he thought his son would make a good prime minister, Johnson said:

"I shouldn't think so. Everything's arse-about-tit with him. He never knows what day of the week it is. He's a joker who opens his mouth, and sticks his size 12 boot in it. It'll be an interesting ride though, especially if you're interested in catastrophes!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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