Woman Blames Oven For Burning Her Husband's Tea

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 July 2019

image for Woman Blames Oven For Burning Her Husband's Tea
Cooking: notoriously difficult when you're blabbing on the phone

A bad workman always blames his tools, and bad workwomen can also be added into that discriminatory statement this evening, after a woman who burnt her husband's tea "to a cinder" tried, unsuccessfully, to attach some sort of culpability to the oven in which the meal was incinerated.

Mary Bonkers, of Swindon, put her spouse's Lasagne ready meal in her brand new oven, set the timer for 35 minutes, and started to read a magazine. The Lasagne began cooking.

Then her phone rang. This had consequences.

Mary's friend, Davina, was on the other end of the phone, and had some gossip to spread. The Lasagne carried on cooking, oblivious.

Davina told Mary about a workplace romance.

The Lasagne was starting to emit a lovely aroma from the oven.

Davina told Mary she was going to go into town on Saturday, and buy those new shoes and that new handbag she'd shown Mary the week before. Mary was very jealous, and wondered whether she could afford something new, just to keep up with Davina.

The Lasagne had turned crisp and brown. Maybe a bit too crisp and brown.

Davina asked Mary if she had seen the new drama on ITV, and they started to talk television. Mary had not set the timer properly.

The Lasagne was now in pain, and screamed to be let out of the oven. Smoke started to creep into the kitchen.

Mary became aware of this when her husband shouted:

"Where's me tea?"

Later, when she'd been to a local Chinese takeaway, for an alternative to the Charred Lasagne, Mary discussed the new oven with her husband. She told him:

"I've not got used to it yet. It cooks a lot quicker than the old one."

Her husband said:

"Phone seems to be working OK, though..."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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