Esha Gupta case leads to global campaign against “eye rape” (male restraints under consideration)
Bollywood actress, Esha Gupta, has recently found new fame by accusing a hotelier in Delhi of “raping her with his eyes.” Ms. Gupta further explained that the man continually stared at her for a long time and was a “future rapist.” She denied t...
Read full storyRobber foiled by high decibel flatulence (no signs of epidemic)
Earlier today Sputnik International broke the news of a sensational arrest in which the culprit nearly escaped. The culprit had taken refuge behind a tree in the steep wooded terrain of an area that must remain anonymous, according to police, to a...
Read full storyAyatollah’s Rice Pudding Recipe ‘May Contain Nuts’
Tehran, Iran - (Pisstarchios): Iran’s President Rouhani is in the doghouse after an outbreak of allergic convulsions at a recent state dinner was traced to ‘something truly horrid ‘ in the dessert course. Guests complained that Sholezard, a tradit...
Read full storyIdiot Fly Thought Plastic Food Was Real
The commonly-held belief that insects have uncommon intelligence was comprehensively dispelled today, when a fly that landed on a child's plastic toy, not only did not have a 'sixth sense', it didn't even have the sense it was born with! * The hou...
Read full storyPutin's Dream Team in new Bond movie "From Russia with Love - II"
A recently leaked e-mail from the Broccoli desk of EON Productions reveals a new James Bond adventure in the pipeline. As soon as 'The Rhythm section' hits the theaters coming November, recordings will start for another great James Bond spectacle. It...
Read full storyFootball Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea
Arsenal are prepared to add defenders Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson or midfielder Mohamed Elneny into any potential deal for Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha. The Gunners have already had a £40m offer for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast winger rejected.
Read full storyGrieving Woman Finds Difficult People Refreshing to Be Around
After losing her beloved feline companion of over twelve years, Sammy, Melanie Meadows of New York City could scarcely stem the tide of tears that threatened to surge from her eyes at any given moment, but soon learned, to her relief, that unpleasant...
Read full storyGrannies knit a tea-cosy for Britain
Ladies across the UK are toiling like crazy to knit a giant tea-cosy to cover the whole country. The enormous knitwear is intended to protect Britain in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Women's Institute spokeswoman Menstrua Geoffcock explained, "Th...
Read full storyBozo Johnson Concedes in Tory Leadership Race Citing "Back Problem"
The favourite to become Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has removed himself from the Conservative party leadership contest after coming under mounting pressure following Sir Kim Darroch's resignation as British ambassador to Washington. Critics of Mr...
Read full storyErectile Dysfunction Man Cured By Sexy Wench With Big Oomlaaters
Medical personnel at one of Berlin's top research institutes have admitted they were "speechless" after a patient who had suffered erectile dysfunction for more than 14 years, was suddenly 'cured' when he set eyes upon a supersexy barmaid with whoppi...
Read full story2020 Democrat Hopefuls Release Campaign Slogans
There can be no disputing that "Make America Great Again" served its purpose well for President Trump. He wasn't the first to use it, but he has a knack of having a finger on the pulse of the country, recycled the phrase - and it helped, it seems.
Read full storyElderly Cost Taxpayers TRILLIONS: One American's Views
Washington, D. C. From the OAV Television Network. As Republicans and Democrats in Congress refuse to tackle the financial problem caused by the growing number of elderly in the country, the cost of providing for senior citizens continues to mount. O...
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