
Score One For The Elephants
An angry elephant killed a poacher who was hunting Rhinos at night in the Kruger National Park of South Africa. Accompanied by four other companions, his body is believed to have been consumed by a pride of hungry lions. A pride of really hungry lion...
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Joe Biden To Star In Remake of Predator
Los Angeles, Ca - (CaCa Mess): A new career in the movies beckons for has-been former Obama Veep, Joe Biden, after Hollywood studio bosses offered him the starring role in a remake of the 1987 cult science fiction action horror film Predator. Bide...
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Country Music Star Admits to Being Secret Slayer Fan
While known for his crooning, picking, and twanging, country music megastar Ridge Lawson recently admitted that in his down time, he can't get enough of death metal band Slayer. "Fuck, they just really do it for me," said Lawson, briefly but unapo...
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The Man Who Had Talons For Toenails
A man who was visited at his home by a Social Security Fraud Inspector had a rather unusual physical characteristic. William Waghorn, about 75, of Fountain Road in Hull, received the visitor and his 'associate' when there was a rap on his front do...
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5th Grader Demands Mother Tell Him Why He Was An Accident
Lake County, Minnesota. Feeling that the time was right in order to have that special talk about "the birds and the bees", as well as "the unique moments" that keep life moving, Justin Harris, 10, sat his mother down last Wednesday, and demanded to...
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Unredacted Mueller Report Reaches MSNBC
Rockefeller Plaza, NYC. As Brian Williams was about to begin "The 11th Hour" program tonight, a messenger from an unidentified delivery service dropped off a sealed manuscript sent by Etaoin Shrdlu, the alleged leaker of the unredacted Mueller Report...
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