Score One For The Elephants

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 7 April 2019

image for Score One For The Elephants
"It wasn't me. Oh, I can't remember."

An angry elephant killed a poacher who was hunting Rhinos at night in the Kruger National Park of South Africa. Accompanied by four other companions, his body is believed to have been consumed by a pride of hungry lions. A pride of really hungry lions.

The Lions enjoyed an early Easter feast. However, they left the poacher's skull. Presumedly it was empty, quite possibly before rather than after the killing incident.

The victim had four accomplices who were unable to locate their friend's body and called in for support from the Park Rangers. Still carrying their rifles and ammunition, the four poachers were immediately arrested.

A search team was launched by Park Rangers who could only recover a pair of pants believed to have belonged to the poacher. Yikes.

The great white hunter of African endangered species, Donald J. Trump Junior, photographed after both a giraffe and an elephant kill, was not one of the Rhino poachers arrested.

Whew! Another travesty not added to the Trump inventory list by Democrats.

Wanted posters, to be on the lookout for the killer elephant, have been dispatched, though no one is certain of the identity of the elephant, whether it is male or female, remains in South Africa or the distant possibility that the hunted Rhino may have killed the poacher.

Elephants aren't talking — sort of like the Republicans who are busy with redactions.

Wanted posters, to be on the lookout for the same pride of lions, who ate the poacher, have also been dispatched. Though it's believed the pride of well-fed lions is sleeping it off somewhere in the South African bush.

However, these lions could also be in disguise, wearing long navy blue overcoats, and traveling in a caravan toward one of the borders.

“They’re sending their rapist and murderers and drug addicts…”

Of course, South Africa will have to build a wall. And Ireland will pay for it.

Glenn Phillips, the managing executive of Kruger National Park, warned that entering the park illegally on foot at night, “Is not wise. The Park holds many dangers…”

Ahhh, yes! The skull agrees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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