Republicans promise to pay for cities damaged by global warming!
Elected Republican officials promised on Monday that if cities become submerged because of rising sea levels, they and their republican voting constituents will pay to repair the damage. But, how will we know who owes what? Ryan explained the a...
Read full storyParents of teens attempt to sneak across U.S. Mexico border to get a break from their kids
In what appears to be a misguided attempt to get a break from their teenage sons, a Nevada couple purposefully attempted to cross the U.S./Mexico border illegally. According to reports, Stan and Fran Druzinski of Winnemucca, Nevada were caught...
Read full storyPoldark's Aiden Turners Chest To Star in its Own Series
Following its recent exposure in every National newspaper and magazine in Britian, including "Tractor Engines Today" and "Know Your Radish", the hairy chest of Aiden Turner has announced that it will be going it alone in future. The buff half-tors...
Read full storyThe Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Repino base
What a dump. I checked Tripadvisor before coming here and it's even worse then I thought. I'm in the middle of nowhere and there are less than 3,000 people here. Points of interest: Chapel of Saints Cosmas and Damian, you won't find me in there,...
Read full storyBoy Picks His Nose And Eats Result
A teacher at a school in Battambang recoiled in horror this afternoon, when a boy in his classroom picked a huge bogey from his nose, and ate it! There's really not much more to it than that, but, if you force me to expand on it, I will. The bo...
Read full storyRobbie Williams Pisses Russians Off
The event for which the world has been waiting four years, kicked-off yesterday with former Take That heart-throb Robbie Williams taking centre stage. Williams 44, sang to a crowd of more than 78,000 screaming fans at the Luzhniki Stadium in Mosco...
Read full storyRobbie Williams humiliates the UK. Again.
Karaoke turn come pop star, Robbie Williams, has again humiliated the British people by 'giving the finger' to millions when for some bizarre reason he was chosen to open the 2018 World Footballing Cup in Russia. Not content with years of inflicti...
Read full storyDia veinte / Dag twintig / The Nutters Beach Club present resident Nutter and, poet laureate, Sir Francis Charlton, reciting top ten footy nonsensical quips as pissed as Paul Gascoigne ever was!!
Here he is Sir Francis and his deaf, dumb, and blind parrot perched on his left shoulder, called Erskine! (Is that plagiarism?) Numero 1) The ball is round (well that's fucking rocket science!) Numero 2) Football is a game of two halves, a first and a second! (Infamous quote from David Moyes hoping the fans wouldn't fall asleep after 45 minutes of his dire kick and rush footy) Numero 3) I...
Read full storyAmber Amphibians! Frogs destroy evolution fairytale. Again.
The daily onslaught against the myth of evolution has taken another crushing blow. Tiny frogs have been discovered in amber, looking very much like modern day frogs. The only snag is, that these ancient amber amphibians are claimed to be 99 millio...
Read full storyResearchers Ask Dead People What Happens When You Die
A new breakthrough study seeks to answer that age-old question, what happens when you die? Scientists with the University of Miami at Notre Dame of Ohio interviewed hundreds of dead people and what they found may shock you if you are easily shock...
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