Trump Makes Bet with Kim Jong-Un Over Nukes and Twitter
Singapore In their summit meeting, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un and U.S., President Donald Trump regarding Trump's Twitter use. "Kim bet me that I couldn't stay off Twitter for 2 months. If I do, he gives up his nukes. If not, the U.S. has t...Read full story
Trump And Putin’s Dirty Linen
No, not that dirty linen from the bed at the Moscow Ritz-Carlton. That linen has been cryogenically frozen, preserved under lock and key, like the shroud of Turin, to be thawed and used as proof to blackmail Trump; if Putin finds it necessary... N...Read full story
God Particle Found To Cure Kleptomania
Scientist at the Glowing Fellow Nuclear Research and Development Center (GFNRDC) in Boulder, Colorado have discovered the God Particle can cure someone of kleptomania. The discovery was made when kleptomaniac, Joey Fingers, went to nuke a burrito in...Read full story
10 Tips for Being a Successful Writer
#1) Make sure that you have a basic understanding of grammar Solid and effective writing does not necessarily require a highly advanced and extremely technical understanding of grammar. Just make sure that you know how to properly use the basics such as: A) Epiphoras; B) Logosglyphs; C) Neologisms; D) Simple, Intermediate, and Advanced Palindromes; E) Vocative Cases; F) Onomatop...Read full story
Carnival Workers Fight Mandatory Shower Rule
BILLINGSGATE POST: While the average American male worker takes a daily shower or bath to refresh himself and also rid himself of pesty parasites, dangling dingle berries and pungent odors that might effect his love life deleteriously, carnival work...Read full story
Brian - Was He Murdered?
A man living in the Cambodian city of Battambang believes that his friend - then living in the Thai capital city of Bangkok - was murdered and his death then made to look like a suicide. Nuneaton-born Brian Waine, 57, was the long-time friend of fellow Englishman Moys Kenwood, the two having first met when the latter applied for work as a teacher at Siam Computer & Language in Bangkok in 19...Read full story
English Gardener Attacked by Biting Ants
A British lady has been viciously attacked in her own garden by biting ants, leaving her in a state of great undress. Librarian Catherine Catlow had decided to plant some trailling sweet peas along a border when she found herself perched precariou...Read full story
Staple Found In Chocolate Bun
A man in Battambang who was enjoying a cup of tea after his evening meal last night was shocked to find that the bun that he was eating along with his brew contained a foreign body - a staple. Moys Kenwood, 54, was halfway through the chocolate bu...Read full story
Dia de diecisiete / dag seventeen / and NO we are not allowing that shite meeting in our pristine Nutters Beach Club!
Dia de diecisiete / dag seventeen / and NO we are not allowing that shite meeting in our pristine Nutters Beach Club! NOTICE: The honorable owner of this debauched club will not mention a certain meeting happening between two fucking morons somewhere on the planet!! So, holonarable (I have to plactice my Cantonese because WAN-KIN-DIK's Spotted Dick tastes like Chinese Chlop Sluey and not rea...Read full story
National League West Downgraded to Class AA
Cooperstown, NY. Sources close to the office of Commissioner of Baseball Rob Manfred have learned that he will soon announce that the West division of the National League has been ousted from Major League Baseball and sent down to the minors. For...Read full story
Leprechauns to control inner-Irish border
Brussels chief negotiator Michel Barnier and UK Prime Minister Theresa May have at last broken the deadlock in the Irish border issue. Brexit Minister, David Davis, has conjured up a new proposal which has been welcomed and approved by his counterpar...Read full story
Trump: Kim Jong-un Handshake Injury Exclusive!
After the historic first ever man-to-man meeting between US President Donald Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, in Singapore yesterday, Mr Trump had to request a visit from a local doctor last night after complaining of severe discomfort in...Read full story