Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 15 June 2018

image for Boy Picks His Nose And Eats Result
The finger was inserted into the nasal cavity, and the nail used to extract an enormous bogey (Reconstruction)

A teacher at a school in Battambang recoiled in horror this afternoon, when a boy in his classroom picked a huge bogey from his nose, and ate it!

There's really not much more to it than that, but, if you force me to expand on it, I will.

The boy, aged about 5, was sitting at the back of the room, in the right-hand corner during a Phonics class which started at 3:30pm this afternoon. Just like the teacher, he was visibly tired, and was daydreaming, probably about what he was going to do when he got out of this tedious, onerous and pointless Phonics class, and was allowed to go home.

The possibilities were endless. He could play football with his friends, ride his bicycle, climb trees, chase the chickens and ducklings in his yard, throw stones at cows or passing motorcyclists, destroy an ants' nest by setting it alight, or go bathing in the muddy, brown waters of the river that ran behind the back of his house.

The student was having similar thoughts.

Suddenly, and without warning, the student thrust his left index finger into his nasal cavity, rotated it 90°, and then removed it, revealing a long, straggly, olive-colored piece of matter which hung from under his nail. With a vacant look in his eyes, he gently placed the 'thing' on his lips, from where his tongue dragged it into his mouth, lizard-like.

Time stood still. The other students regarded the frozen aspect of the teacher's gaze. He had been the only one in the room to have seen what had just happened, and his brain was still processing the information. Suddenly, the school bell rang; the torment, the pain, the lesson was over. The Boy Who Ate A Bogey put on his schoolbag, and ran to the door with his pals, probably still chewing the 'thing' that he should not have been chewing, and disappeared into the corridor.

Police are not investigating.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: School, Nose




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