Parents of teens attempt to sneak across U.S. Mexico border to get a break from their kids

Funny story written by StubbornGorilla

Friday, 15 June 2018

image for Parents of teens attempt to sneak across U.S. Mexico border to get a break from their kids
"It's like crossing the Red Sea only with more red tape."

In what appears to be a misguided attempt to get a break from their teenage sons, a Nevada couple purposefully attempted to cross the U.S./Mexico border illegally.

According to reports, Stan and Fran Druzinski of Winnemucca, Nevada were caught attempting to swim across the Rio Grande near El Paso. The couple allegedly approached a border patrol officer saying, "no habla ingles" and "yo no se." It was later discoverd that "I don't speak english" and "I don't know" were the only two phrases Mr. Druzinski could remember from three years of spanish class in high school. The border patrol officer reported something odd about their encounter as the two sons were quoted as saying, "what the hell are you doing mom?" while the parents tried to cover their mouths. Despite his suspicions, the officer followed protocol, separating the family and sending them to different detention centers.

Throughout the next several weeks the boys were very disruptive during their stay at Casa Padre, with several workers describing them as the "worst behaved kids we've ever had here."

"They kept calling the other kids "dill weeds" and complaining about the food and lack of Play Station 4s" one employee at the facility stated.

It wasn't until their deportation hearing that the parents fessed up. Mrs. Druzinski described her detention as the "most relaxing three weeks of my life" and Mr. Druzinski stated that he hadn't "had that much fun since college."

The decision to get themselves arrested seemed to stem from a recent altercation with their children that neighbors described as "typically nasty" where both boys hung their parent's underwear out on a tree in front of the house. There is a long documented history of incidents where the children were obstinate and disrespectful to their parents.

When pressed during the hearing, Stan explained, "we just really needed a break from them. We love our boys, but they're total bastards."

"we really had hoped for a little more appreciation for all of the hard work we've put into raising them at this point," Fran stated, eliciting laughter from the other people in attendance.

Although authorities strongly suggest against taking such extreme measures to get a little break from your brat kids the Druzinskis stayed very positive despite being charged a heavy fine of $20,000.

"Best money I ever spent," Stan Druzinski said.

"If I was given a second chance I'd do it all over again," Fran agreed.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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