English Hooligans gatecrash The Nutters Beach Club/ Dia veinteneuve!
It was unavoidable that sooner our later our exclusive club would be discovered, breached, and gatecrashed by English footy hooligans, desperate for some insanity and hoping looking up Volga Olga's shriveled banana skin skirt! However, these hooligans were slightly different, yes pissed out of their brains, but, non-violent, and bawling their eyes out in disbelief after what they witnessed last ni...
Read full storyNew Statistics Show Top Causes of Death In UK
Surprising new statistics have been released by the Home Office showing how you are likely to die in the UK based on the area you live and your age group. Unsurprisingly, in the male 14-19 yrs age group stabbings are the number one cause of death...
Read full storyMelania Makes 4th Trip to Mexican Border Dressed As A Nun
Melania Trump made a 4th visit to the Mexican border carry a bottle of Jim Beam and a bottle of Tequila. She was spotted entering a small cantina, not regularly entered by "gringos'. "She came in all by herself, no secret service, no nothin' man,"...
Read full storyRowling Laughs at Trump After Spoof Writer Alerts her to Spelling Error
USA Potus Donald Trump has been criticized by English writer JK Rowling over his pathetic attempts at spelling and grammar. Mr Trump wrote: "After having written many best selling books, and somewhat priding myself on my ability to write, it shoul...
Read full storyHeatwave Causes Mass Delusions
For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...
Read full storyFourth Of July Forgotten
The 4th of July, the one day in the year Americans hold in the highest esteem, has been forgotten, by one man, at least, in Battambang. The man awoke as normal this morning at around 5:30am, and went about his normal daily business, which included...
Read full storyThe Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually
I'm penalty taker. Yes, I bloody am, really. Except for last night that is, thanks to that bastard "Mr. Southgate". I promise you, I am going to stick one on him soon. Look at it this way. There I am a seasoned professional among all these pretty...
Read full storyRSPCA Threat to Take Schrödinger's Cat Dead or Alive
Renowned Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger was outraged this morning when he heard that RSPCA inspectors intended to raid his laboratory in an attempt to seize his cat, Tiddles, after allegations of animal cruelty. An exasperated Tiddles spoke...
Read full storyNeymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders
Brazilian footballer Neymar has been wowing the crowds at the World Cup in Russia with some stunning performances, and 2 goals so far, but the fans are not the only people the 26-year-old has been impressing. Executives at the BBC have been meetin...
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