Nashville Man Rises like a Phoenix from the Ashes of His Shattered Relationship
Carl Martin of Nashville, Tennessee, recently rose like a phoenix from the ashes of his shattered six-year relationship with his (now) ex-girlfriend Carla Jones. “People used to joke around all the time about our names,” recalled Carl. “They'd tel...
Read full storyUniversity Activists Rejoice After Silencing Mute Political Commentator
Activists at UC Berkeley celebrated this evening after silencing a popular political commentator born with the inability to speak words. The students, who form the collective known as “Socialists Hindering Interpersonal Transgressions”, or more co...
Read full storyEloon Musk Set To Send 1 Million Dairy Cows To Mars To Re-establish Atmosphere On The Red Planet
Eloon Musk today purchased several thousand head of Jersey dairy cattle, some yet to be born, with the promise to breed up to 6 million to send a constant stream of the bovines to the planet surface of Mars. Each cow would be equipped with its own...
Read full storyMueller: A Cheap Polyester Sylvester Ambulance Chaser
BILLINGSGATE POST: President Trump unleashed yet another personal insult to Special Counsel Robert Mueller today. In a Tweet written at 4:00 AM Trump Time, the President registered his disdain for Mueller and his team of Democrat attorneys: "It'...
Read full storyWhere are they now? Keith Chegwin's Penis
Go on, admit it. You know you did, but you don't want anyone to know. You are one of the millions who tuned into the Naked Jungle in June 2000 just to have a butcher's at cheeky chappy Cheggers' little winkle. You weren't disappointed. There he was just like a man-baby, not a hair in sight, so cute, with his little pink chubby body and his tiny baby willy. Heart warming. Keith later said it wa...
Read full storyDia cuarente y uno "Slap my Bitch up!" Is now The Nutters Beach Club Number One hit in French!
We here at the Nutters Beach Club abide by sexual equality, not quite like the French who " claque ma salope" in public! So, in honor of our 'prodigious' public we decided to show solidarity with mistreated 'salopes' all over the planet and declare 'Slap my bitch up' our hit of the month! Volga Olga, our resident, sex-starved, 85 year-old nymphomaniac, has invented a new dance routine to this c...
Read full storyTo Would or Would Not Part 1
It was a dark and stormy night. Donald Treetrunk brought his fishing boat into the dock in the port harbor in the tiny country of Martinique. His first mate Mike Pinch gamely jumped onto the dock to tie off the boat. A portly fisherman named Rudy took out a wad of francs, and counted out the days account. "C-cccan I go to the Treetrunk Tower for a drink, boss!" stammered Pinch, "I-I-I'm startin...
Read full storyRooster Booster (A Poultry Aphrodisiac) Blamed For Trump Derangement Syndrome
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was well past sunset in a somnolent henhouse outside the comfortable home of chicken rancher Slim Everdingle. The clucking of the Rhode Island Reds had long dissipated as the hens were catching a break after pumping out their...
Read full story