Nashville Man Sticks Foot in Mouth at Yoga
After hearing all his East Nashville friends rave about the restorative effects of yoga, Trey Mulligan of Nashville, Tennessee, recently decided to check out a class for himself – only to wind up sticking his foot in his mouth. “It was intense,” s...
Read full storyUK Reacts To Break In Hot Weather
The UK was today left reeling after a brief spell of cooler weather. Children were seen staring at the skies in wonder as spots of warm rain fell for the first time in months. One school has planned a weeks' lessons round "warm clothing". Teacher,...
Read full storyMBE for Ben Stokes for Brave Defence of Gay Friends During Attack
The England cricketer, Ben Stokes, was today put forward for an MBE for his brave defence of a gay couple on a night out in Bristol. Stokes, who was completely sober during the Bristol club-crawl with his mates, first encountered the gay couple af...
Read full storyDanielle Lloyd's Secret Wedding Location Revealed
Z-list celebrity, Danielle Lloyd, has today confirmed that she will be getting married in secret next year to her short-term fiancé. Danielle stated in exclusive interviews with Closer, Hello, Tatler, and Vegetable Growers Weekly magazines, today,...
Read full storyIran Retaliates: Dyspeptic Camel Befouls Trump’s Bed
BILLINGSGATE POST: As promised, the curse Iran President Hassan Rouhani levied on President Trump has been carried out. Inexplicably, a dyspeptic camel found its way past White House Secret Service Agents, and, in a show of extraordinary chutzpah,...
Read full storyInfestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated
The House of Commons is to be fumigated after a Rees-Mogg was discovered in the main chamber. Although only one of the insectoids was found, it is thought to be part of a breeding pair. Rees-Moggs are a member of the genus Privilegius Conservatus,...
Read full story"Trump spends at least 30% of his day yelling the N word," says White House intern
He is well known for his closet racism, but it seems that Trump suffers from a severe psychological disorder - sometimes called negrophobia, but also known as TDRT. This magnifies the problem and causes uncontrollable outbursts of racism. Tiny Dic...
Read full storyDr. Quigley Answers Gentlemen's Health Questions
Dear Dr Quigley I suffer from recurrent migraines, but my GP always wants me to give a sample of semen whenever I see her, and she insists on helping me. Is this right? S. Perm-Donor, Balham. Lots of patients would love such personal service from their GP. It sounds like she is using the ancient Chinese practice of acuwankture to relieve your headaches and I am sure you feel much better afterw...
Read full storyGrumpy, Trumpty, BO-Jumpty, latest global laughing stock join hands in SOLIDARITY GRUMPING!
The English Premier League starts today with multii-millionaire, greedy, self-centered, Rolls Royce-driving footy superstars, led by a Portuguese MEGA GRUMP. A Portuguese Man-Of-War would be more entertaining! Grumpy's boys have to play 90 minutes of footy - yes 90 minutes - after being pampered, waxed, massaged, living, flying, and driving, in utter, utter opulence and luxury, but Grumpy insis...
Read full storyNew Facebook Study Confirms You’re Right About Everything
Earlier today, Facebook released a study that has officially confirmed that you’re right about absolutely everything. The study, which was conducted over the course of your 10+ years on the social media platform, and in no way compromised your privac...
Read full storyLots of Nominees for Asshole of the Year!
Every year, the list of nominees grows longer, but this year, there has been unprecedented growth. This year's list includes: * Kim Jong-Un * Vladimir Putin * Bill Cosby * Sarah Huckabee Sanders * Alex Jones Runners-up were Roseanne Barr and Harvey Weinstein. But the actual winner was too late to be added to the nominating ballot, but won by a landslide as a write-in candidate. And...
Read full story"I Will Build A Space Force and The Martians Will Pay For It!"
The president signed an executive order diverting all the people's pensions into his new program, whose new motto will be "To Infinity And Beyond", in honor of the projected budget. "And the best part is the Martians are going to pay for it. Trust...
Read full storyThe Robert Manafort Trial: The Making of a Master, Art Tiste
Alexandria, VA — Art Tiste, an impressionistic watercolor painter employed by the USA All the Way tabloid, who asked to remain anonymous, says he hopes the trial of Paul Manafort continues for “as long as possible.” Manafort's financial fraud trial i...
Read full storyMan Begs: "Put Me On Paid Administrative Leave, PLEASE"
Dear Spoof Editor: Your Spoof News recently reported that a cop in Georgia, involved in a questionable shooting, had been sent home, placed on "paid administrative leave." That was a day or two after a teacher in California, accused of inappropriate conduct toward female students, was also sent home on "paid administrative leave." Full pay for watching TV or playing golf! Hey, Mr. Prinn, - he's...
Read full story