Friday, 10 August 2018

image for Infestation of Rees-Moggs to be fumigated
The Rees-Mogg feeds on small insects and poor people

The House of Commons is to be fumigated after a Rees-Mogg was discovered in the main chamber. Although only one of the insectoids was found, it is thought to be part of a breeding pair.

Rees-Moggs are a member of the genus Privilegius Conservatus, and are often raised in the marshy school-lands around Slough. From there, they spread far and wide, and have been spotted throughout the British Isles.

In appearance, they seem unthreatening, and they have a similar body shape to the praying mantis. They are actually related to the BoJo and the Gove slime monster, and can spew poisonous bile at will.

The Rees-Mogg preys on the poor and the vulnerable, dazzling them with displays of apparent eloquence. However, the dangerous creature is only interested in its own well-being, and will stop at nothing to protect its interests. It has a dislike of foreign creatures and reproduces ferociously.

Rentakill have confirmed that they sent two men armed with pesticide to the Houses of Parliament, which is currently closed for the summer.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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