"Trump spends at least 30% of his day yelling the N word," says White House intern

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 10 August 2018

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Do you suffer from negrophobia?

He is well known for his closet racism, but it seems that Trump suffers from a severe psychological disorder - sometimes called negrophobia, but also known as TDRT. This magnifies the problem and causes uncontrollable outbursts of racism.

Tiny Dick Racist Tourette's affects about 1 in 20,000 of the population. Sufferers feel a compulsion to shout out a racist term every time they see somebody of a different hue. During the Obama era, Trump was thought to yell the N word up to 8,000 times a day. His psychotherapist, Geoff Fraud, explained, "We fitted Trump with an N-meter to count his racist rants. Normally, for people with TDRT they might hit 1,000 times a day, but he was way beyond that."

Mr Fraud prescribed heavy medication for Trump's negrophobia, and suggested that he avoid seeing coloured people as much as possible. Thankfully, he had very little real contact with them, and mostly saw them while watching TV. He began to watch Fox & Friends, and also Friends, and soon calmed down enough to be able to run for President.

However, his racism never really went away. One White House source revealed that he still spends most nights screaming the N-word into his pillow while dreaming of Obama.

A translator who claimed to work during the summit between Trump and Kim Jong-Un, said that half of the words that came out of Trump's mouth during that meeting were racially offensive. Thankfully the two translators were able to manage the situation and make the meeting go far smoother than was expected.

Donald Trump is inexplicably still President of the United States.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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