Miley Cyrus: My Kentucky/Tennessee Kin Not Complete Yokels
Miley Cyrus says that she gets very upset when the press calls her and her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus yokels from Kentucky and Tennessee. One reporter claims she tried to cram his mike down his throat but had no proof. "She gets really mad at the 'Yo...
Read full storyStrange Choices On Crimea Ballot
KIEV (Reuters) - Sunday's vote in Ukraine's Crimea is being officially billed as a chance for the peninsula's peoples to decide fairly and freely their future - but in fact there is no room on the ballot paper for voting "Nyet" to control by Russia.
Read full storySara Palin Back In The News
Sara Palin expanded today on her remarks made last week at a Republican Convention. There, after hinting she might run for President, she instructed President Obama on foreign policy. "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good gu...
Read full storyEx-Newcastle United Footballer Paul Gascoigne Left Devastated by Fishing Rod Loss
The ex-England footballer Paul Gascoigne has tonight revealed he has been left devastated by the loss of his favourite fishing Rod. The fishing rod is said to have been especially dear to the Italia '90 hero because it had been signed by every singl...
Read full storyMissing plane never left the tarmac says LA psychic
Los Angeles, California - Aviation search parties would be better off scouring the Malaysian runway a clairvoyant Los Angeles shaman said today accusing airport authorities of using a cloak 'n' dagger cloaking device and other high tech stuff. Pom...
Read full storyBusiness magnate sentenced to 25 years to life in maximum-security federal penitentiary for stealing a loaf of bread
Mike Hawke, CEO of Blue Blood Pharmaceuticals, appeared before the Honorable Judge Colin Stern, this afternoon and was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison for what Forbes declared "The Crime of the 21st Century". The incident in question too...
Read full storyOn A Lighter Note: More People Are Being Cremated Today!
"Lighter note huh? You news people think the whole world is one big happy home don't you? Well, I deal day in and day out with dead people and cleaning them up, placing a cotton ball with alcohol up their wazzoo and draining them dry so what so humorous about that?" After telling Mr. Clay we only were there to ask him and his staff.. "Did you say 'Stiff'?" "No. I said staff. The people wh...
Read full storySir Paul McCartney on David Crosby Needing Another Liver
When asked about Crosby, Stills & Nash singer David Crosby, Sir Paul McCartney had a few choice words with some reporters, after he was told that David Crosby needed another liver. "My goodness. How many livers is he taking away from other peo...
Read full storyPopular Mechanic - Clyde DuMach
In this edition of Popular Mechanic, we meet Clyde DuMach of DuMach's Custom Auto Repair in Addleboro, Tennessee. Clyde is today the chief repair guy in the family business his grandfather began back in 1951. With each generation, the oil and grime seems to have enhanced their appeal and led to very rewarding, if not often intriguing careers. From the outside, the garage looks like most oth...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Hears Tunes in Her Head
Miley Cyrus told a member of her backup band that she hears tunes in her head and that she can't write it down fast enough. "I'm glad she doesn't hear voices", stated the musician who asked to be anonymous, but just for our reporters. "She's he...
Read full storyFat Woman Flattens Justin Bieber
Thus far know one knows why a big fat lady got into a heated argument with Justin Bieber and flattened him in a parking lot just outside a Kroger Market. A woozzie Bieber finally got to his feet, shook his head, took two steps and went down once a...
Read full storyPrince Harry says Cressida is a great ride
Prince Harry, fourth in line to the throne and sixth in line for the new iPhone 6 outside the Apple store in Oxford Street, has gone on official public record to say his Cressida is a fabulous ride. Now 24 years old, he states that his Cressida is...
Read full storyBook Review - Abraham Lincoln by Carl Sandburg
I enjoyed it, I am a big fan of any book about Lincoln, but, unfortunately like many biographies about this man NO mention of his vampire hunting youth. If you can get over that then you will enjoy. The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir I thought this was a self help book, as I suffer from one second sex, premature ejaculation, for want of a better phrase. Unfortunately it wasn't, so the p...
Read full storyBook Review - Death of a Transvestite by Ed Wood
"Hero/heroine Glen Marker sits on Death Row and offers to tell his life story in all its sordid detail in exchange for his last wish: to die in drag! I understand that Saddam Hussein and Colonel Gaddafi made the same request but it was refused. The Fry Chronicles by Stephen Fry This is NOT a cookbook on how to do eggs, french fries or any other food that involves hot oil. After I read i...
Read full storyBook Review - Happy Days by Samuel Beckett
Utter drivel! A complaint waste of time and money. No mention of Fonzie, No Ralph Malph, No Richie, No Arnold's and not even a whiff of Mr C or Mrs C. Sorry, and I make NO apologies,to write a book about Happy Days and not include some of the main characters is, quite frankly, idiotic. Samuel Beckett, sir, I beg you rewrite this nonsense and include the aforementioned characters. You...
Read full storyBook Review - Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Not a biography about an extremely annoying pop star who just moans through his songs, well known for his sample-based electronic music, vegan lifestyle, and support of animal rights...and looks like a bald nerd. No. It is about a big whale. I guess it was my fault, for not reading the title of the book correctly. I thought it was "Moby is a Dick", which of course he is. Anyway, I re...
Read full storyHusband Refuses to Have Sex With Wife unless Opossums are Present
Trudy Kinks of New York City says that she and her husband may have to split up for awhile until they get something straightened. "And I'm not referring to penis pills either", she told several family members. Trudy explained that she and Morri...
Read full storyTonight's 'Walking Dead' To Feature Cameos From Well Known Stars
AMC's The Walking Dead is raising the bar with the episode scheduled to air Sunday March 16th. Several well known Hollywood stars and celebrities are set to make cameo appearances, a first for the hit post apocalyptic zombie ratings hit. Stars...
Read full storyTennessee Policeman Hates His Job
"If the money wasn't so good and all the fun we have with the speed traps, I'd leave this job in a minute", stated Nashville, Tennessee officer Douglas Lancaster. "I agree", stated his partner. "I blame it on all those 911 calls that we get from e...
Read full storyWorthless Rehabbed Entertainment Celebrity Studio Announces Fall Line-Up
Hollywood, CA (STT News) - In an official welcoming ceremony, the Irrational Network Association announced the arrival of the newly formed Worthless Rehabbed Entertainment Celebrity Studio (WRECS) and their line-up for the upcoming Fall, 2014 TV seas...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Has Sent A North Korean Warship To Patrol Off The Coast of Russia
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un remarked to members of the North Korean cabinet that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, tit for tat, and e pluribus unum. Some of the cabinet members got puzzled looks on their faces. The lea...
Read full storyThe L.A. Lakers Offer To Trade Pau Gasol, The Entire Laker Girls Cheerleaders, and $20 Million To The Oklahoma City Thunder For Kevin Durant
LOS ANGELES - There is no joy in LaLaLand home of the once proud Los Angeles Lakers as the boys in purple and gold have fallen to 22-44 for the worst record in the entire NBA Western Conference. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily wrote...
Read full storyAdam Lambert's Intimate Glitter Trauma
LOS ANGELES - Adam Lambert performed at The San Andreas Fault Coliseum in LaLaLand. After the concert he was asked by iRumors Ling Chow Rangoon to clear up the glitter trauma rumors. Lambert kind of blushed a bit but replied that he would be glad...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Tells Glenn Beck If He Doesn't Like The Republican Party Then Maybe He Needs To Join Sarah Palin's Rogue Teabag Party
NEW YORK CITY - Rush Limbaugh told Political Salad Bar Magazine that he is growing tired of hearing so many members of the GOP whining and complaining about their beloved political party. Limbaugh said that the latest crybaby is none other than Gl...
Read full storySelena Gomez Said Justin Bieber Begged Her To Return To Him In Order To Avoid Being Deported
NEW ORLEANS - Selena Gomez has said that she has always loved performing in The Voodoo Arena in New Orleans. She added that part of the reason is because backstage the venue always has a great array of Cajun and Creole food which she says she can...
Read full storyA Tremendously Obese Arizona Woman Reveals That She Had Her Lips Stapled
PHOENIX, Arizona - Saying that all of her life she has been overweight beyond belief, Phoenix resident Olympia Twistboro, 37, decided to finally do something about it. She told National Focus Magazine that she hit the 500 pound mark this past Vale...
Read full storyPutin Bans All Anti-Russian Websites
MOSCOW - The Vodkavich News Agency is reporting that the Kremlin is cracking down on any world wide websites that are critical of the Russian government. The report states that President Putin has asked his director of computers, Edward Snowden to...
Read full storyRussell Brand Offers Miley Cyrus $900 If She'll Twerk Him
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand said that he really got excited at watching Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry kissing. Brand who was married to Katy told Bedroom Pillow Talk that he always had a feeling that his honey liked to make out with girls. He noted...
Read full storyA Group of Cherokees Want The Name of The Red Sea Changed
CHEROKEE, North Carolina - There's a group of native-American's who are on the warpath in western North Carolina. The group led by Hunting Pony Tarburton recently stated to American Spotlight Magazine that they want the name of the Red Sea changed...
Read full storyRussia Is Looking For Some Real Estate In Central America
MOSCOW - President Putin has just announced that he has been in talks with several Central American governments about the possibility of purchasing some real estate. The leader of the Russian nation says that he talked to Nicaragua and Guatemala b...
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