Strange Choices On Crimea Ballot

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Sunday, 16 March 2014

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GREATEST MAN ALIVE?

KIEV (Reuters) - Sunday's vote in Ukraine's Crimea is being officially billed as a chance for the peninsula's peoples to decide fairly and freely their future - but in fact there is no room on the ballot paper for voting "Nyet" to control by Russia.

The Crimean voter will have the right to choose only one of two options in the March 16 referendum. The first question will ask: "Are you in favour of the reunification of Crimea with Russia as a part of the Russian Federation?"

The second asks: "Are you in favor of reunification of Crimea with Russia as part of the Russian Federation in the next 6 months?

Also on the ballot the voter has the right to choose only two options on the question of feelings about Vladimir Putin. The first question will ask "Is Vladimir Putin the greatest man alive?"

The second question asks, "Is Vladimir Putin the top leader in the world today."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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