Miley Cyrus Called "Village Idiot"!
"That Miley Cyrus showing her rear end and sticking her tongue out and wearing very little is supposed to make her appeal to more teens is a crock. She looks like a little kid first learning that you don't say the word "Poop" around adults...bless he...
Read full storyTeen Hookers See 12% Pay Increase in 2013
Local teen hookers are doing pretty well in this rough economy according to a Pew Research Poll. The Poll taken the last week of December 2013 showed that the average hourly pay for teen hookers is up 12% from the same time last year. "I think t...
Read full storyPassword History Revealed True Opinion of Workplace
One logistics worker found a unique way to vent her frustration at her company's toxic culture. When she was asked to change her password every evening at six o'clock sharp, she did as she was told. Never mind that at six o'clock sharp, she wa...
Read full storyThe Florida State Seminoles Defeat The Auburn Tigers To Become The Nation's Number One Collegiate Football Team
PASADENA, California - Old Man Winter did not make an appearance at The Rose Bowl as many Florida State and Auburn fans dressed in short sleeved shirts and shorts. Many of the female students wore halter tops and Daisy Duke shorts as they saw FSU...
Read full storyCardinal Baloney Opposes Relief From Torturous Pain
In a recent Times, there is a front-page story entitled, "Murder Or Mercy?" It is, in part, a story of an ailing World War II veteran who commits suicide. Before his death the 88-year-old man told his son, because of his terminal illness, that...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Warns Russia and The United States Not To Mess With North Korea or Else
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Paddy News Agency has reported that the leader of North Korea will no longer tolerate any hostile threats from either Russia or the United States. Kim Jong Un speaking at the world-famous Chopsticks Squa...
Read full storyAnother drug scandal Sweden involves the police
After the scandal with Sweden's Justice Minister referring to a satirical article about 37 dead of marijuana overdose in Colorado, another story has emerged. Swedish Cops are struggling to deal with side effects from a sizeable stash of cannabis t...
Read full storyPresident Obama Pivots to "Fahrenheit Inequality"
WASHINGTON, D.C: With record low temperatures creeping across the majority of the United States, the President has held a press conference to address the issue. "There is a Fahrenheit inequality, all across America. For too long now, we have sat...
Read full storyHorrendous polar bear vortex grips America
New York - Much of the USA is being menaced by an evil polar bear vortex according to scientists at the Bearback Mountain Institute of Ecoskullduggery. The climate change stink - uh, think! - tank is linking this week's arctic strike to a recent s...
Read full storyMichael Gove to star as "Chinless wonder" general in WW1 episode remake
"You're doing it wrong" expert Michael Gove is to give young people a sense of patriotism and a correct outlook on WW1 history in a new remake of the final trench "over the top" episode of Black Adder. The episode will charter the life of ordinary pe...
Read full storyLet The Unemployed Eat Cake Says Heritage Foundation
A spokesman for the Heritage Foundation, a conservative "think tank" appeared on the PBS News Hour and was interviewed by a flummoxed Gwen Awful. The man, Andre Gide, was a visiting scholar from "L'Autrichienne Economique," a neo-fascist institution...
Read full storyColorado Reports That The Most Popular Female Baby Name Is Now Mary Jane
DENVER - The Colorado Bureau of Births has just issued a press release stating that the Rocky Mountain State has a new leader in regards to the most popular new-born baby girls' name. Since January 1, 2014, when the new marijuana law went into eff...
Read full storyThe Gorgeously Sexy Charlize Theron Explains What She Sees In An Old Goat Like Sean Penn
HOLLYWOOD - The question of the new year is what in the wide wide world of sports is the stunningly attractive Charlize Theron, 38, doing with an old goat like Sean Penn who is 53? The couple has reportedly been having sleepovers at her home in th...
Read full storyDairy Queen Presently Test Marketing A Brand New Dessert Item
MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota - The Dairy Queen Corporation in a move to increase their sales of ice cream products has just developed a new dessert item. Columbus Vee, a representative with the fast food franchise chain stated that the new item is pres...
Read full storyLouisiana To Honor Duck Dynasty's Robertson Family With A Valentine's Day Parade
BATON ROUGE, Louisiana - The governor or Louisiana, Bobby Jindal has just proclaimed that the week of February 10-16 will be officially declared as The Robertson Family Week. Governor Jindal stated that on Valentine's Day, the Duck Dynasty clan wi...
Read full storyThe Big Favor Michelle Obama Asked of Miley Cyrus
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The nation's first lady, Michelle Obama has just sent a text message to Miley Cyrus asking her for a big favor. White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has informed the news media that Mrs. Obama has asked Miley to please stop tw...
Read full storyColorado's Governor Addresses The Talk About Adding A Marijuana Plant To The State's Flag
DENVER - Governor John Hickenlooper of Colorado has been asked by many of his state's citizens to issue a Governor's Proclamation which would add a pot plant to the state flag. The governor stated that although he respects the rights of all Colora...
Read full storyJohn Kerry Says The U.S. Will Defend Australia If She's Invaded By North Korea
PANAMA CITY, Florida - Secretary of State John Kerry visited The Sunshine State and spoke at a convention of retired Southern pharmacists. He stated that should North Korean leader Kim Jong Un carry through with his threat to invade Australia, the...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Buy A Rocky Mountain Mansion Just Outside of Denver
LOS ANGELES - The star of Two and A Half Men, Ashton Kutcher has just informed the entertainment media that he and girlfriend Mila Kunis will be spending some time in Colorado Kutcher said that he has just purchased an exquisite Rocky Mountain man...
Read full storyPresident Obama Turns Down An Offer To Appear On Duck Dynasty
WASHINGTON, D.C. - White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax has just announced that the producers of the hit show Duck Dynasty have invited President Obama to guest star on the A&E show. Colfax informed the White House reporters that the preside...
Read full storyColorado's Population Is Booming Thanks To Marijuana
CHICAGO - The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has predicted that Colorado's population will double within the next 12 months. The ADGA stated that recent polls show that the fact that Colorado has made it legal to purchase marijuana has caused a...
Read full storyAn Extremely Jealous Sarah Palin Disses Fellow Republican Megyn Kelly
WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that outside of the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, and Alec Baldwin no one enjoys being in the spotlight more than Sarah Palin. The former governor of Alaska who was dubbed Snowflake by Vice-President Biden cannot stan...
Read full storyMary Cheney Explains Why Her Sister Liz Cheney Has Dropped Out Of The Wyoming Senate Race
NEW YORK CITY - Liz Cheney, daughter of former Vice-President Dick "WMD" Cheney, has decided to drop out of the Wyoming Senate race. She expalined to GOPicky Magazine that she feels that it is just not the right time for her to hold public office.
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