An Extremely Jealous Sarah Palin Disses Fellow Republican Megyn Kelly

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

WASILLA, Alaska - It is no secret that outside of the Kardashians, Miley Cyrus, and Alec Baldwin no one enjoys being in the spotlight more than Sarah Palin.

The former governor of Alaska who was dubbed Snowflake by Vice-President Biden cannot stand not being in the limelight.

According to Mistletoe Bulova with Political Drive Thru Window Magazine the woman who is noted for being a hunter wannabe is furious that she has to share the political stage with FOX News talking head Megyn Kelly.

The White Wilderness Woman recently appeared on The View and she told host Barbara Walters that she does not care for Megyn Kelly because all she does is just read the news off of a teleprompter, which is something that even a Peruvian parrot could be trained to do.

When Walters asked the Loose Moose if maybe she was a bit jealous of Ms. Kelly, Palin perked up and replied, "Ya know Barbara, a lot of people have asked me that same damn question. And I will give you the same damn answer I give them."

Palin continued "The middle aged, dishwater blonde Barbie Doll may be pretty, smart, and popular but she cannot, I repeat she cannot stalk, shoot, and skin a moose like I can."

"Well whoop-de-do" Walters replied.

"Truth be told Missy" Walters noted, "How many women do you really know who get a sick kick out of blasting the hell out of some poor defenseless animal?"

Before Palin could reply Walters asked "And let me say this Mrs. Palin. If moose, caribou, elk, reindeer and any other big game that you stalk, shoot, and skin suddenly started carrying high-powered telescopic rifles like you do, I am willing to bet that you would suddenly keep your ever expanding ass in the effen kitchen."

Mrs. Palin turned as red as Santa's suit. She started to reply but was so flustered that all she could say was, "Ya know Ms. Walters, I did not come all the way from my home in Wasilla, Alaska to Los Angeles to be insulted on your show."

Walters grinned. Whoopi grinned. And Jenny and Shari grinned.

Barbara then said, "Ah, ya know what Miss Her Who Got Her Butt Kicked in The 2012 Election, I see that your geography has not improved one friggin bit - we're in New York City, walrus nuts."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more