Teen Hookers See 12% Pay Increase in 2013

Written by Wayne Davis

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

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Teen Hookers Walking On Sunshine!

Local teen hookers are doing pretty well in this rough economy according to a Pew Research Poll. The Poll taken the last week of December 2013 showed that the average hourly pay for teen hookers is up 12% from the same time last year.

"I think things are going great" said local teen hooker, Jasmine Avalon. "My Johns are paying up for the non freaky scenes, which is great cause it leaves me more time to be with my kids".

Teen hookers across the board reported similar upticks in their hourly wages for straight sex, and for the real freaks out there rates are up 17% to 20%! "Thats where the real money is" said Lola Maverick. "Those super freaks, mmmmmmm child, they pay up! I just put a down payment on a 2001 Escalade". "Child I'm in the drivers seat this Christmas"!

Local union officals say they have never seen the teen hookers so happy and motivated. "Some of the girls were getting kinda lazy, they were only doing 5 or 6 Johns a day. Now with the pay increases they are pulling down 15 to 20 Johns a day, that's a huge difference! an elated Helen Chambers of the South Central Teen Hookers Local 838 told reporters. "I think the recession is finally over, at least in the teen sex trade" Chambers added.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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