Editors Deny Spoof News Articles Sponsorship Deal
Editors of several spoof and satire news websites have angrily denied that they have "sold out" and will now allow corporate sponsorship of articles and submissions. One editor, sipping a refreshing diet coke, which is low in calories yet still re...
Read full storyIs There Sex In The Afterlife? Part 4
The beings from the planet Sophia69, who have taken over all of earth's Internet, social media, TV, and radio transmissions have beamed an answer to their second "Question Of The Week," "What is the human activity that will make all and any human emotions, actions, desires thought-systems, values, idols, and totems and religions obsolete?" (The reader will recall that the first question was,...
Read full storyRicky Gervais - Just Call Me Ricky
As the lift doors slide open in the lobby of a London hotel, a short, comical looking figure steps incongruously into a Mêlée of designer-suited businessmen, shakers and movers, deal-makers and well, generally important people. Head down and weari...
Read full storyForgotten Yogurt Mourned
An unopened yogurt quietly expired last night after spending several days lodged between a shriveled tomato and a jar of mayonnaise in a Florida mans refrigerator. The yogurt, purchased in mid November, was survived by a can of diet coke and a blo...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Has A Case of the Ass!
Kim Kardashian says she has a case of the ass about ever flying anywhere again! "I get singled out every time I take a flight anywhere so I am staying on the ground with cars and buses and trains." Ms. Kardashian stated that every time an airpl...
Read full storyBandar Bush gets the boot as Saudi intelligence chief
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia - A Saudi prince who was so far up the Bushes' ass that he became known as Bandar 'Burning' Bush has been given the heave-ho as head of Saudi Arabian Intelligence. Prince Bandar is credited as being the mastermind who ordered...
Read full storyHorizon Wireless Changes to "How Interesting Is Your Conversation" Pricing
Basking Ridge, NJ - Horizon Wireless announced today new pricing plans based on how interesting your conversations are rather than on traditional pricing drivers such as minutes used, number of texts, or data usage. The new pricing is being introd...
Read full storyBogus Veteran Punished
A man who embellished his military record to appear as a highly-decorated war hero has been sentenced to 30 days in federal prison, authorities said. Paul Haslam, 45, of San Diego, was convicted of altering a military or naval discharge certificat...
Read full storyLocal Man Finishes College at 42-Years-Old
I'm certainly dad left it in his will that my college would be paid for along with an allowance so that I could concentrate of my getting better grades. Then my mother passed away and left me the house and car. So, for the last twenty plus year...
Read full storyThings Looking Ugly In Egypt
A Florida man, recently returned from a vacation in Egypt, says that things in Egypt, and especially in the capital city, Cairo, are looking "ugly". Dave Capeshdi, from Palm Beach county, claims he was shocked at some of the things he saw on the s…
Read full storyFonzie Scheme Busted
A Californian man has been arrested in what police are calling the largest Fonzie Scheme uncovered for several years. The scam, which involved investors contributing money for the purchase and mass shipping of white T-shirts and leather jackets ar...
Read full storyEaster Bunny's Got The Hump Over Michelle's White House Egg Roll
Washington DC - He's hopping mad at White House chefs for messing up the mayo in the staff canteen's breakfast snack served sunny side up on Michelle's orders. A slimline, eco-friendly organic slime has replaced the traditional 100-calorie-a-pop...
Read full storyRussia Orders "Chicken Kiev" Stricken From Restaurant Menus
Moscow - Russian President Vladimir Putin has issued an executive order requiring all restaurants in Russia to strike the dish 'Chicken Kiev' from their menus. Although Putin does not need the approval of the legislative branch of the Russian Federa...
Read full storySelf-service at supermarket garage
Motorists can now drive themselves into Morris&Sons garage where self-service is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Customers at Morris&Sons Motors simply queue for the next available inspection pit, pick up a basket containing overa...
Read full storyHusband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!
Esther Montgomery Mellencamp says that her husband, Homer Cougar Mellencamp is a wild animal in bed at night. She told The Georgia Dudley Tribune, a small newspaper in a small town, that she didn't mind telling this to us by phone as all their nei...
Read full storyLocal Worker Fired Over Half-Ass Work at Garbage Collection (Politics?)
Billy Raymond of Studs, Georgia has been fired by the state government because he was reported as only doing his job in a half-ass way. Raymond was the second worker fired this week after Chester Moleturd became victim number one earlier. "Wa...
Read full storySupreme Court recognizes Gays as 'third gender'
WASHINGTON, DC - In a landmark judgment, the Supreme Court on Tuesday created the "third gender" status for gays. Earlier, they were forced to write male or female as their gender. The court said that the gays will be allowed admission in educatio...
Read full storyPutin Makes Jerk Off Motions While Speaking With Obama
It has been reported from Moscow that while discussing anything on the USA/Russian Telephone Hotline with US President Barack Obama, Russian leader Vladimir Putin makes jerk-off or wanker hand gestures to his aides. During last weeks call to Mosco...
Read full storyShip Wreck Survivors Rescued By Cruise Ship Die From Food Poisining
After being rescued since being lost at sea for nearly two weeks, shipwreck survivors Jose Luis Mendoza and Angel Carbon died after eating buffet food they were given by the cruise ship that rescued them. In another case of food poisoning and sic...
Read full storyImages of Crucifixion - Sales Boom
Govenment experts puzzling over pre-Easter sales of crucifixion memorabilia are analysing possible reasons. One currently popular reason is that it is a sign of support for the return of the barbaric form of capital punishment. "A leading histori...
Read full storyEaster Sofas - The Ups and Downs
Forget Jesus Christ and all religious distractions, forget family meals and get togethers, once again according to T.V. advertising it's time to buy expensive furniture. Here's our guide for everyone out there with no common sense: 1) Buy the largest sofa you can squeeze into your room. 2) Forget comfort and other considerations. 3) Buy Mail order if possible for a surprise factor. 4)...
Read full storyPresident Obama Is Thrilled As He Wins $4,000 Betting On The Washinton Wizards
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden said that he and his wife, the second lady (Jill Biden) were watching Dancing With The Stars when he got a phone call from President Obama. The president was so ecstatic that he could hardly talk. Biden...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Says That If That Nevada Cowboy Cliven Bundy Had Pulled His Stunt In North Korea He Would Have Been Put In Jail For Life
PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy News Agency is reporting that Kim Jong Un cannot believe how the state of Nevada and the United States government let Cliven Bundy get his way. Kim Jong Un said that 67-year-old Bundy did not pay the mandato...
Read full storyThe World Champion Miami Heat Get Beaten By The Washington Wizards And Thus Let The #1 Seed Get Away
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The fans of the Washington Wizards saw their hometown team play the spoiler as they defeated the world champion Miami Heat 114-93. Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti pointed out that by the Heat losing the game they al...
Read full storyThe United Nations Has Instructed North Korea's Kim Jong Un To Disarm All of His Missiles
NEW YORK CITY - National Focus Magazine is reporting that North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has just received an email from the United Nations informing him that he is to disarm every one of his missiles by 11:59 pm, Monday, April 28. They stress th...
Read full storyAustralia's 1st Aborigines Infantry Regiment Lands In The Ukraine
KIEV, Ukraine - The government of the Ukraine is proud to announce that the 1st Aborigines Infantry Regiment from Brisbane, Australia has just landed at the Kiev Airport. The regiment flew to the Ukraine to help defend that country against the Rus...
Read full storyLos Angeles Lakers Fans Are Devastated As Their Team Fails To Make The NBA Playoffs
LOS ANGELES - Rufus Reno, sports writer for Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has said that there are a lot of upset Lakers fans in LaLaLand. Reno said that the fans of the purple and gold team are pretty much red at the moment as their beloved team...
Read full storyINS: Bieber to be Deported
After two months of debate, the White House in conjunction with the INS has issued a deportation notice to "music" star Justin Bieber following his recent legal troubles. The Canadian-born Bieber, 19, was arrested January 23rd, 2014 for DUI, drag...
Read full storyCantankerous Collaborator Steven Colbert To Take Over Lame Liberal Lefty Letterman's Show
The ultimate traitor, Steven Colbert, has sold his soul and gone over to the dark side of the Force. In signing a deal with CBS, probably with a pinprick and a signature in blood, he has given up his proud conservative legacy for filthy lucre.
Read full storyVaseline Still Better Than Ky-Jelly!
A company representative for a Research Firm that needed some door to door work got a volunteer who told them that he needed some exercise anyway and so he volunteered. After three doors being shut in his face, a lady in her late 20s came to the d...
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