Thousands lost down drain

Hundreds of thousands of tiny sweets disappeared down a road-side drain when a confectionery lorry skidded and overturned yesterday. Driver Nigel Goodie escaped with only minor injuries. "But I had about half-a-ton of 'Hundreds-and-Thousands' on...

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Lorries are a fatal threat to typists

Funny story: Lorries are a fatal threat to typists

Lorries accounted for one-in-five crashes involving typists, according to a study of traffic accidents in Central London. Typists were also more likely to be injured in mid-sentence than any others on the roads. Researchers have observed marked i...

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Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

Funny story: Ancient Civilization Accurately Predicts When Their Calendar Will End

MEXICO CITY-People around the world are now saying "Mayan who?" as it appears that the ancient civilization known as the Mixtec have miraculously foretold the exact time and day when their calendar will come to an end. The Mixtec, who originated...

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Kate Moss crashes in Oxford Street

Funny story: Kate Moss crashes in Oxford Street

London - An exotic fruit shop hoarding featuring the super model has collapsed causing injury and mayhem in the busy Central London shopping thoroughfare. 38 year-old Kate has been the face of Mango ever since Peaches Geldof turned down the plum r...

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Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Funny story: Balotelli joins "the Hood"!

Controversial (understatement) Italian footy star, Mario Balotelli, has decided to remain anonymous whilst up to his rather naughty antics around the Manchester area. He claims the publicity is just too much when he's acting like a moron; albeit, he'...

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The Queen, the Full Moon and a spooky Nostradamus prophecy

Funny story: The Queen, the Full Moon and a spooky Nostradamus prophecy

London - The Bank of England's Quantitative Easing Committee heard today a new slant on Quatrain #1-86 revealing the French soothsayer's hunch about the Queen's full moon schedule tomorrow. Treasury analysts ruffled plenty of fiscal feathers with...

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Rory McIlroy over Tiger Woods for #1 by Nostradamus

Funny story: Rory McIlroy over Tiger Woods for #1 by Nostradamus

Michel de Nostradame was an ardent golfer, prophet and doctor 500 years ago. People have a hard time understanding prophecy because they think that time is linear. The reason that Tiger Woods can no longer line up a putt is because due to the surgeri...

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Putin Sheds a Tear for Chelsea

Funny story: Putin Sheds a Tear for Chelsea

Those puzzled by KGB Manager, Vlad Putin, shedding a tear in Moscow can now be made aware of the awesome truth. Rumours, first revealed by Spoof, that Putin was to be Chelsea's next Manager have proved unfounded. But we can now say why the deal di...

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Plaster crisis averted - with porridge!

Funny story: Plaster crisis averted - with porridge!

For the fifth year in a row, the UK is suffering from a plaster shortage. This is rendering render difficult and plastering over cracks impossible. "I blame those there DIY tele programmes," said Brad Grammar of B&G Plasterers in Bromwich. "Th...

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Local Man Introduces Kebab Mogul Ali Bullo To Spoof Godfather Colonel Juan

Funny story: Local Man Introduces Kebab Mogul Ali Bullo To Spoof Godfather Colonel Juan

In a sensational breaking news story, it can finally be revealed that over the weekend, local man Martin Shuttlecock, actually introduced Spoof Godfather, Colonel Juan, to legendary south coast kebab and burger tycoon, Ali Bullo. Although only ov...

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Home Workshop Manual for 29 Tools: with users' advice

Funny story: Home Workshop Manual for 29 Tools: with users' advice

To the uninitiated, the workshop can be an intimidating place, full of tools you may not know what to do with. To help, here's a helpful explanation of common tools and their uses, followed by some DIY tips: 1 Socket-Sets: A definitely much needed tool. You'll always lose the one you want to use, but the nearest width one can always b utilised to chew-up the bolts. 2 Drill Press: A ta...

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Rihanna Says She Loves Chris Brown and She Has Forgotten All About The Cuts, Bruises, Scrapes, and Abrasions

Funny story: Rihanna Says She Loves Chris Brown and She Has Forgotten All About The Cuts, Bruises, Scrapes, and Abrasions

ATLANTA - Rihanna and Chris Brown were recently spotted having a nice cozy dinner at Hotlanta's IHIPHOP Soul Food Restaurant. The stunning Barbados beauty was wearing a tight-fitting pink T-shirt that read: I Have 4-Given Chrissy. Chris Brown m...

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Buffalo Teachers Insist : It's in the Water

Funny story: Buffalo Teachers Insist : It's in the Water

CNN News recently ran a story about the cosmetic rider that is included in the Buffalo, New York school teacher union health insurance contract. It noted that the "nip and tuck" benefit has cost Buffalo's citizens as much as nine million dollars a y...

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Rocko's Perspective: Small-scale Cases

The Civic Welfare Quick Info receives many e-mails, courier mails, and even packages the size of a wardrobe on featuring some "small-scale" cases that seem big for you. And here it is, problems of yours, guaranteed to be given some answers! Case 1: A friend invited me on a movie marathon, so I brought a bucket of popcorn. But even I love eating popcorn (and I can't resist eating it) while watch...

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Christina Aguilera Is Furious At Joan Rivers For Insinuating That She Is Pregnant

Funny story: Christina Aguilera Is Furious At Joan Rivers For Insinuating That She Is Pregnant

BEVERLY HILLS - Christina Aguilera was sitting at The Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive getting her roots colored and her feet massaged. As she was sitting in a plush chair talking to the salon's owner FuFi Fondue she saw Joan Rivers on the salon...

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I Always Wanted to be a Serial Killer

Funny story: I Always Wanted to be a Serial Killer

Okay, here's the thing, I always want to be a serial killer but never had the stomach for it. Don't ask me why. The only answer I can come up with is because of the way they are glamorized in the news and on television these days. That and, you know how we all fantasize about killing people that just plain piss us off? Well, I could never come up with ways that would be suitable to me. I mean, I r...

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Derek Hough and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Want To Buy Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev's Vampire Sux Bar & Grill

Funny story: Derek Hough and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Want To Buy Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev's Vampire Sux Bar & Grill

LOS ANGELES - Two of the stars of the hit dance show Dancing With The Stars have been looking for a nice restaurant to purchase together. Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough and Maksim "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Chmerkovskiy recently spoke with the...

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Breitbart Secret Revealed

Funny story: Breitbart Secret Revealed

Shortly before his untimely, and some would say suspicious death, Andrew Breitbart announced that he was making it his mission to do the job that the mainstream media had so miserably failed to do during the 2008 Presidential campaign: the vetting of...

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Two Mannings In New York?

Funny story: Two Mannings In New York?

The biggest rumor being spread by NFL fans today is that Peyton Manning may sign with the New York Jets and join his brother in New York. Although neither brother will admit it, nor their dad when called, the Jet players say that their quarterback...

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Is Rush Limbaugh's Wife really a Slut?

Funny story: Is Rush Limbaugh's Wife really a Slut?

Oops! Did I really just infer that Limbaugh's wife is a slut? I'm really sorry if I did. I'm sure she probably isn't. Please forgive me. I must have been talking out my ass. Drat! I've just been warned by The Spoof's word counting algorithm that I can't publish this totally fictitious crank of Limbaugh latest sewer soliloquy yet. It seems that I ran afoul of the minimum word requirement, which...

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Person With Mental Disorder Shot By a Police Officer That Also Has Mental Disorder

TOKELAU, NZ (CWTS World News) -- Cray Zeeman, a person with schizophrenia, was shot by a police officer that also had schizophrenia after going on a rampage in a gasoline station. According to the gasoline station's cashier and some CCTV camera fo...

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Brazil's Star Striker Axed Amid Weight Concerns

Funny story: Brazil's Star Striker Axed Amid Weight Concerns

Two time Ballon D'or winner and Blue Peter badge recipient, Flabinho, has been told by Brazilian head coach, Claudio Crappeira, that he wont be selected again for Brazil until he resolves his ongoing weight problems. It is not the first time that...

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