Rocko's Perspective: Small-scale Cases

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

The Civic Welfare Quick Info receives many e-mails, courier mails, and even packages the size of a wardrobe on featuring some "small-scale" cases that seem big for you. And here it is, problems of yours, guaranteed to be given some answers!

Case 1: A friend invited me on a movie marathon, so I brought a bucket of popcorn. But even I love eating popcorn (and I can't resist eating it) while watching movies, my stomach turned when I found out that the movie we're watching is "The Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence." Since he's my best friend, I feel ashamed vomiting on his house. What should I do? (Sent by Mai Grain from Kimjong, IL.)

Solution: Try to ask him if it is OK to vomit in the bathroom. If not, try to bring a plastic bag to vomit on. Or, if these fail, tell him that you need to go on any appointment, or tell him that you left the kitchen unattended and you forgot to put it out.

Case 2: I have a habit of nail-biting when I'm nervous. Can you help me? (Sent by Haipa Tenshio from Kyoto, Japan.)

Solution: Actually, this is just normal. Better undergo a counseling, then buy a set of nail polish to cover those bite marks.

Case 3: I deleted System32 from my boyfriend's laptop. How can I fix it before he sees it? (Sent by Rhea Dismeno from Cebu, Philippines.)

Solution: Maybe your BF downloaded "questionable" things from a "questionable site" then saved it in his system32 folder. This causes viruses. Just backup files then reformat it. If your BF reads this issue, well, expect potatoes thrown at your front windows.

That's all for now. More cases to come on the next issue!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more