Derek Hough and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Want To Buy Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev's Vampire Sux Bar & Grill

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

image for Derek Hough and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Want To Buy Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev's Vampire Sux Bar & Grill
Houston's Vampire Sux Bar & Grill is located across from Minute Maid Park, home of the Houston Astros.

LOS ANGELES - Two of the stars of the hit dance show Dancing With The Stars have been looking for a nice restaurant to purchase together.

Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough and Maksim "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" Chmerkovskiy recently spoke with the stars of The Vampire Diaries Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev at Hough's Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Cha Cha Cha.

Somerhalder and Dobrev are the owners of The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill which is located in downtown Houston. The happy couple purchased the restaurant from The Dixie Chicks on February 9, 2012 for $13.1 million.

The all-girl Texas band had purchased the bar and grill back in July 2011, from the original owners the stars of the Twilight Saga series Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

The Houston restaurant is certainly a money-maker since it is located across the street from Minute Maid Park, home of Major League Baseball's Houston Astros and next door to Madam Mona's Lascivious Casa de Lap Dances.

During last year's baseball season the Dixie Chicks actually had three tables set aside for the Astros players in a private area of the restaurant known as "The Bullpen."

According to Bedroom Pillow Talk reporter Gazebo Serengeti the Dixie Chicks were forced to sell the Vampire Sux Bar & Grill due to financial reasons.

Serengeti noted that Natalie Maines and sisters Emily Robison and Martie Maguire had no choice but to sell the establishment in order to help pay off some outstanding loans that the band had taken out.

The loans had been taken out prior to lead singer Maines saying that President George W. Bush looked just like Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman.

A close friend of the band's identified as Billy Bubba "Bobby" Cacklerfickle revealed that after Maines made her sarcastic comment comparing Bush to Neuman the Dixie Chicks popularity dropped by about 90 percentage points.

Cacklerfickle added that the Texas trio went from performing in packed concert venues in front of 20,000 to 30,000 screaming fans to performing in front of 7 or 8 tired Holiday Inn lounge guests.

Derek and Maksim have both been to the Vampire Sux Bar & Grill and they really loved the place which is decorated in a vampire inspired motif complete with vampire glow-in-the-dark fangs, vampire cloaks, hanging bats, garlic clusters, and a huge 24 pound vampire piƱata.

The two DWTS dancers also enjoyed the bar and grill's menu items which include Derek's favorite, Wild Javelina (Boar) Meatballs Marinated in Jose Cuervo Tequila and Maksim's favorite Rattlesnake Tenders Basted in Southern Comfort.

Hough and Chmerkovskiy have made Somerhalder and Dobrev a substantial monetary offer, which also includes 12 free dance lessons. Derek and Maks are hoping that the two stars of The Vampire Diaries get back to them with good news.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Lone Star State Menu Monthly Magazine recently named the Vampire Sux Bar & Grill's Pancho Villa Enchiladas Smothered in Dos Equis Beer as the 'Best Enchiladas' in the entire state of Texas.]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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