Rory McIlroy over Tiger Woods for #1 by Nostradamus

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

image for Rory McIlroy over Tiger Woods for #1 by Nostradamus

Michel de Nostradame was an ardent golfer, prophet and doctor 500 years ago. People have a hard time understanding prophecy because they think that time is linear. The reason that Tiger Woods can no longer line up a putt is because due to the surgeries on his left knee, Tiger Woods' left leg is now shorter than his right leg and when Tiger Woods is putting and he sets his eyes directly over the target line his head is crooked and his perception is distorted.

At the Honda Classic last week Tiger Woods charged into the lead with a 62 after purchasing a Dr. Scholl's heel lift for his left shoe after his third round at the Honda Classic last Saturday. Rory McIlroy managed to hang on for victory with three spectacular up and downs on 15, 16 and 17; or was that 16, 17 and 18?

Rory McIlroy's victory at the Honda Classic propelled the 22 year old Irishman into the world number 1 spot as predicted by Nostradamus 500 years ago in Quatrain 1:35: "The young lion shall overcome the older (#) one on the field of battle by singular duel; Through armor of gold his eye will be pierced, two wounds in one, then to die a cruel death."

The reason that prophecy is real is because time is actually shaped like an hour glass laid on its side, like the infinity symbol. Nostradamus wrote his prophecy in code. Nostradamus' first antichrist was code named Napaulon Roy, Napoleon. Nostradamus' second antichrist was code named Hister, Hitler. Nostradamus' third and final antichrist is code named Mabus, Ayatollah Mesbah Yazdi of Iran, the true power behind the scenes in Iran who calls for Iran to build nuclear bombs in his book.

President Obama thinks that he can negotiate with Mabus. If you can't trust Satan who can you trust? When Nostradamus wrote "Through armor of gold his eye will be pierced" this was code for "Through armor of golf his eye will be pierced." Sometimes prophecy comes true more than once. God is all knowing and does quite well at the track.

For many years people have known that the first fulfillment of this prophecy occurred when in a jousting duel Scottish Captain Gabriel Montgomerie speared French King Henry II through his golden jousting helmet through the eye and killed him with a lucky shot on July 1, 1559, after Michel de Nostradame warned the King not to joust because of this very outcome he had seen in his bowl of water.

After bageling Maria Sharapova at Madison Square Gardens two nights ago Rory McIlroy said: "To be honest in golf, you can have a rival if you want, but at the end of the day, your biggest rival is the golf course. You have to be able to beat the golf course more often than not and that's all you are trying to do. Ultimately you're going to have to beat people coming down the stretch on Sundays and whether it is Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson or Lee Westwood, Luke Donald or Martin Kaymer, or whoever, I would never really want to say that I am in a rivalry with anyone. I just want to go out there and play good golf and solid golf and if I can do that then people can make up the rivalries themselves. But I don't see myself as anyone's rival out there - I just see myself as Rory McIlroy trying to play good golf and winning tournaments. To be honest, I was probably thinking to myself, 'Could it not just have been anyone else?' It definitely made Sunday a little more difficult, or more interesting. I can sit here and lie and say that it didn't feel better to have Tiger post a score and to be able to play solid - it maybe made it feel a little sweeter than if it had been someone else, like Colin Montgomerie for example."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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