Obama Asks China To Help Dismantle Failing Capitalistic System
President Obama, who some say is a socialist at heart, today validated those with that opinion by requesting help from Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao in dismantling the failing capitalistic system that has served the United States for over 200 years.
Read full storyMayor McCheese Announces Presidential Candidacy
McDonaldland- In a bizarre twist to an already unusual presidential race, Mayor McCheese announced his presidential candidacy for 2012 early Monday morning. The giant, hamburger for a head fictional character, who was well known as the Mayor of M...
Read full storyGoogle cause a pixel shortage
For many years pixels have been used exclusively by news crews and fly on the wall documentaries to obscure innocent bystander's faces or people who need to remain anonymous. Since Google Street View has been required to obscure the face of every...
Read full storyNessy found in Thames
The great Loch Ness Monster has been spotted miles from home on the River Thames in London. It's been a few years since the monster has been seen in Scotland and the sighting in London could prove the reason why. The sighting of the famous monster...
Read full storyAlice Roberts Back On Screen - Fans Hold Breath
TV expert on all things human, Alice Roberts, is back on UK screens tonight in a new series, causing excitement among her thousands of fans nationwide. Dr Roberts launches a three-part documentary series Origins Of Us on BBC2 in which she explores...
Read full storyLittle Pea's pea-shooter pees Liverpool off!
The climax to Saturday's non-event was no more than the "Little Pea" peeing all the red half of Liverpool off by entering the arena. He then shot in a pea off of his head and proved to all of the world that he is a master-class "Pea-shooter". Up t...
Read full storyBald man wins award for largest slaphead
The Irish dark beer record measuring company have declared a bald man who cannot be named for legal reasons as having the "largest slaphead in the world". An official measured the distance from his eyebrows to his hairline at 23cm (9 inches), beating...
Read full storyA Noted Gynecologist Has Issued A Very Stern Warning To The Women of Wisconsin
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin - Due to the horrible state of the nation's economy many people are trying to find ways to save money. Some are making their own tomato juice by using one part ketchup to 600 parts water. A couple in New Hampshire rented out t...
Read full storyThe Pope caught shoplifting lingerie
Pope Benedictine XVI was today arrested after being caught on CCTV stealing ladies undergarments from exclusive Rome department store Il Condome. Head store detective Francino Goonisimo described today's events: "Belissimo, arriverderci, tagli...
Read full storyAbuse down to my skin colour, not my being a reprehnsible twat, insists Evra
Manchester United full-back Patrice Evra has highlighted his skin colour as being the key factor in the on-field abuse he continually receives from opposition players, rather than his being a reprehensible twat for most of his working day. The Fre...
Read full storyDawkins now has your children in his sights!
Atheist fundamentalist and evolutionary crackpot Richard Dawkins has now got the your children in his sights! Having turned his tail and ran from a debate with Professor William Lane Craig, Dawkins has now decided to lower his sights and plans on...
Read full storyGrave of Incredible Snowman Found
In the snows of the Himalayas mountaineer Lancelot Bodice-Split has reported locating the grave of the Incredible Snowman, otherwise known as Yeti. 'Only experienced mountaineers can reache the spot' he declared to the massed press 'but my photos...
Read full storyQPR mascot Jude the Cat being hunted by Neil Warnock
QPR's newly reintroduced club mascot, Jude the Cat, has gone into hiding after claims by Neil Warnock the moggy divulged top secret information to Blackburn manager Steve Kean. "I had the subs warming up at the break, knowing Steve Kean and his p...
Read full storySevere Weather Warnings - Rain And Snow Predicted
The Met Office has issued a warning of "heavy and persistent rain" across many parts of the country. The alert covers south west Scotland, Lothian, the Scottish Borders, Central, Tayside, Fife and Strathclyde "and loads of other places - you just...
Read full storyNew Mayan Calendar slant reckons on Harold Camping RIP this Friday
California - Armageddon Rapture or myocardial infarction rupture? According to a new translation of classic Mayan Calendar rants this Friday 21st October's Moon/Mars conjunction 'is the most likely day' for the God squad's arch doom peddler to final...
Read full storyNeil Warnock blames tart's boots
QPR manager Neil Warnock has blamed flimsy footwear for his team's draw against Blackburn on saturday. "DJ Campbell broke his metatarsal while training in a pair of yellow Jimmy Choos on Thursday and it has cost us two points" claimed an angry Wa...
Read full storyKangaroo with me or I'm off
Everton midfielder Tim Cahill is stalling over a new contract after making some unusual demands from the cash strapped club. As well as asking for ten thousand pounds more a week he's also asking for kangaroo soup to be made available at the canteen...
Read full storyLocal Man Pleased With YouTube Singing Debut
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, emerged from his Shuttlecock Mansions abode in Titchfield this evening, in order to address reporters, who were covering his latest internet/multimedia smash: The Bright Side. Which shamelessly promotes the best selling...
Read full storyOccupy Wall St. to raid the next Republican presidential debate
LAS VEGAS - Although Las Vegas is far from New York City, organizers are working straight through the next couple of nights to insure that Occupy Wall is 'well represented.' Some protestors are flying, some are driving, and others are walking really...
Read full storyRick Santorum promises to show up for the upcoming Republican primary debate
WHEREEVER HE LIVES - Republican Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum has been beyond frustrated that his intention to run for P.O.T.U.S. has not been taken serious enough. Recent statistics show that all Republican primary presidential candidates...
Read full storyYankee shortstop Derek Jeter lost bet and legally changes his name
STUPIDVILLE - It was an unfortunate bet on a fortunate player. New York Yankees shortstop, Derek Jeter found himself in a bad bet likened to O.J. Simpson trouble. Jeter embarrassed by the bet was hoping that he would be forgiven, yet to no avail,...
Read full storyTough Decisions for the Government Ahead
With economic gloom causing problems for Spoof writers the Government is faced with some difficult decisions. Clearly there are too many people around and plans to gas old people who are living too long have been secretly amended as it was discove...
Read full storyChad Ochocinco upset Tom Brady keeps scoring all the touchdowns
NEW ENGLAND - NFL Wide Receiver Chad Ochocino told ESPN sports anchor Stuart Scott before the game on Sunday, "Give me the damn ball!" Stuart Scott was taken back because no one told him he was going to carry anyone's ball that day. However, repor...
Read full storyThe Question That Mitt Romney Went Positively Ballistic Over
DEVIL'S LAKE, North Dakota - Mitt Romney's The Mormon Master Bus Tour pulled into Devil's Lake where Romney met with about 17 supporters at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant. Romney, bought egg rolls and orders of Crab Rangoon fo...
Read full storyIn An NBA Shocker: LeBron James Has Asked The Miami Heat To Trade Him To The Cleveland Cavaliers
MIAMI - Even though the NBA owners are still locking out the players and the first two weeks of the NBA season has already been scratched, one player is making his voice heard loud and clear. LeBron James of the Miami Heat was recently interviewed...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen Wants Kirstie Alley To Be His 'Cougar Goddess'
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Charlie Sheen recently commented that ever since Kirstie Alley appeared on Dancing With The Stars that she has really lost an awful lot of weight. He stated that the once humongous actress has lost a total of 100 pounds...
Read full storyScientists Develop 'Living' Building Prototypes
San Francisco, CA - Not to be outdone by top scientists in London, researchers in California are working on the next big thing in green living. They are creating 'Living' buildings that will be far greater than the 'Living' buildings that are being...
Read full storyNBA: Midgets Will Be Used During Lockout
NEW YORK-Commissioner David Stern announced today that midgets will be used as replacements during the NBA lockout. "They(the players and owners) are a bunch of idiots, and I wanna see some basketball, dammit!", said the drunken commissioner as he...
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