Fairy Tale Wolf Convention Goes Horribly Wrong
The Fairy Tale Wolf Convention held annually in Manchester may have seen it's last wolf after events this year. "It was horrible," said Ben Woodsman, organiser of the event. "There was carnage in every corner." With all the fairy tale wolves in...
Read full storyWorcester City player suspended over Twitter comments
Worcester City player Lee Smith has been suspended from playing indefinitely while a police investigation is conducted into his comments on Twitter. "His remarks were out of order," said club chairman, Adge Wurzel. "I don't understand this Twitche...
Read full story"OCCUPYNATOR" Sends Wall Street Protestors To Hell As Chaos Erupts In Gotham City
NEW YORK - Carl Spackler, the golf course maintenance man of Caddyshack fame, was commissioned by New York Mayor Bloomberg to clear out the thousands of Occupy Wall Street varmints who had taken over the space for nearly two months. Bloomberg said...
Read full storyFacebook users disappointed not to find porn in their news feeds
Cyberspace was rocked last night after revelations that social media website, Facebook, had been targeted by hackers in a spam porn attack. It seems a number of users were duped into pasting malicious Javascript code into their profiles that resu...
Read full storyNew reality show threatens "I'm a Celebrity" ratings
A new reality show is coming to the BBC next week, threatening the ratings of the popular show "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here". Called "I'm a nonentity, get me out of here", and set in Coventry City Centre, it charts the course of 12 anonymo...
Read full storyRick Santorum Informs Des Moines First Graders that Their Classmate Gino Demario is Deformed
Des Moines, LA - For someone who has never set foot in a school, Rick Santorum seemed to be in his element in Miss Hess's first grade classroom. Friday's visit to Miss Hess's first grade classroom at Riverside Elementary School in Des Moines marked...
Read full storyFree spliffs 'calm down A&E patients'
London - A pilot study at London's Royal Freak Hospital found that a joint dispensing machine in Accident & Emergency has greatly cut down the number of violent incidents. An adapted cigarette machine was installed last week, filled with splif...
Read full storyDesigners reveal 'accurate diagnosis' NHS plan to stymie patient anger
Designers have developed a shocking new way of stymieing the torrent of abuse directed at casualty staff by desperate patients which involves a revolutionary new plan for NHS staff to accurately diagnose all those arriving at hospital seeking urgent...
Read full storyPorno infiltrators attack Facebook and they didn't even peep!
Facebook, the friendly chat and contact internet service have been attacked by cyber porno infiltrators attempting to get their rather naughty messages across (the crutch mainly). The owners of Facebook were appalled at this vile attack of lovely...
Read full storyBill O'Reilly's Book On Abraham Lincoln Has Been Found To Have A Few Historical Inaccuracies
NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's leading political talk show commentators Bill O'Reilly says that he really enjoyed writing his latest book titled, Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination That Changed America Forever. The 62-year-old host o...
Read full storyBritain & Germany at War
After last ditch efforts to avert a conflict Britain has declared war on Germany. In a statement to a hushed House of Commons Prime Minister Cameron David declared : 'It is with regret that I have to tell you that peace negotiations over Europe be...
Read full storyBig cat security
Security at the 2012 Olympics will be as tight as its ever been but experts have said they are training up tigers to deal with any major trouble makers. "The eyes of the world will be on us and if we let trouble get out of hand we'll be the laughi...
Read full story'Smell and tell' on the underground
A special Police force is to be set up to patrol the London Underground but will having nothing to do with the Transport Police. The special unit will be called 'Smell and tell' and will be given special powers. "There's nothing worse than getting...
Read full storySilver bullet found lodged in White House window
Washington - It's traditionally highly effective against werewolves, witches, vampires and other monstrosities firearms experts warned today. However the discovery of a sliver bullet inside security glass in President Obama's office has sent Secur...
Read full storyQueen's medical file 'found dumped in St James's Park'
London - Is 'one' suffering from terminal inflammatory vowel disease? That's today's top news poser and for once Oliver Letwin is not in the frame with the discovery of Queen Elizabeth's medical notes discarded in a St James's Park pooper-scooper...
Read full storyGingrich: "I was mean and nasty before mean and nasty was cool!"
Newt Gingrich was the first to speak last night at the GOP debate in South Carolina. Before taking his place at the podium he strode to the front of the stage and "gave the finger" to the moderators! Then he turned to the press corps, dropped his pan...
Read full storyUnemployment: The Truth Revealed
It was claimed the so-called truth drug was slipped into the glass of water that welcomed the Minister of Employment when he visited a group of unemployed people who wanted to ask him questions. Here are the revelations which will shock a nation! 'Why is Unemployment so high' was the first question. 'Well, if everyone is afraid of being unemployed wages can be reduced and conditions for...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse 'ghost' spooked by appearance of Pete Doherty, says Derek Acorah
A ghost, purportedly that of recently deceased songstress Amy Winehouse, was spooked into vanishing back into the afterlife after apparently catching a glimpse of former Libertine's front man, Pete Doherty, according to celebrity TV medium Derek Acor...
Read full storyPrime Minister summoned to Reichstag
Downing Street is in a flap as it cannot find the traditional Homburg hat for the Prime Minister's visit to the German Chancellery on Friday. For the traditional exchange of gifts when leaders meet, Cameron has chosen a boxed set of ''Alo 'Alo,' a...
Read full storyMonkey parking
Councils in England and Wales are to start using Monkeys as parking wardens. Training the monkeys started eighteen months ago and some have passed there final tests with flying colours. "This is such a great move forward and frees up money for exp...
Read full storyDown-In-The-Mouth Aussies Have Sense Of Humour Bypass
Prime Minister David Cameron's poor attempt at an Australian accent has caused outrage Down Under. Mr Cameron attempted to imitate Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard during a speech at the Lord Mayor'a banquet in London. He told guests tha...
Read full storyPresident Declares Martial Law Due To Peaceful Protests Becoming Too Violent
The President of the United States has declared today that, due to the peaceful protests going on around the country being way too violent for the public's safety, there will now be Martial Law, a State of War, and a State of Emergency due to Disaste...
Read full storyCongressman Ron Paul Talks Candidly About The NFL and The Weather Channel
MONTPELIER, New Hampshire - Ron Paul spoke before a crowd in the parking lot of a local Silly Sardine Swedish Restaurant. He received quite an ovation when he told the crowd that if elected president he will do his very best to see to it that the...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Denies That She Is Into The West Coast Craze - Vodka Tamponing
VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan was sitting in her backyard at her Lindsay Lohan Land mansion when she got a phone call from a media reporter. Lohan, who recently served five hours of a 30 day prison sentence, was wearing a skimpy yellow bikini swims...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: Hope Solo Runs Out of Hope And Gets Sent Back To The Soccer Field
HOLLYWOOD - Soccer star Hope Solo fell one slot short of making the finals on this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. The 30-year-old who was paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, AKA "The Bad Boy of The Ballroom" found herself in the bottom two...
Read full storyFoster Parents needed for Nottingham Boy, can you help?
Advertised in the Nottingham Evening Post, this surely explains why we need to apply ourselves and provide the resources to cater for our elderly citizens? Nottingham Council's Adoption Agency Nottinghamshire Council provides a range of services to looked after children and aims to provide quality foster care placements to meet each child's individual needs in respect of race, culture, relig...
Read full storyRushdie wins Facebook fight, believed to have then flooded FB with porn, violent images
PALO ALTO, Calif.--Ahmed "Salman" Rushdie fought the good fight and won. Then, it's believed, he made them pay. Rushdie had argued with Facebook that he should be allowed to use his middle name, Salman, because it was the name by which he was know...
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