Facebook users disappointed not to find porn in their news feeds

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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

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Dwayne Dumbledore - still in shock

Cyberspace was rocked last night after revelations that social media website, Facebook, had been targeted by hackers in a spam porn attack.

It seems a number of users were duped into pasting malicious Javascript code into their profiles that resulted in hardcore pornography appearing in their news-feeds.

Facebook received numerous complaints, particularly from anguished users who had not had their accounts hacked. Dwayne Dumbledore was a typical example.

"I received a text from a buddy of mine who told me to check my Facebook account." explained Dumbledore "he said that he'd just received a bunch of free porn in his account and that it was pretty sick stuff, and that I should check it out as-soon-as! Naturally, I was really excited, so the moment I got home from work, I fired up my laptop, pulled down my pants and started tuggin' away in anticipation. I was hoping for some girl on girl action, maybe a three-way. Hell! I could even have gone for a bit of bestiality, but what awaited me was far more terrible..."

Instead of the mother-load of explicit images he'd expected, Dwayne was instead confronted by the usual vacuous prattlings of half a dozen so-called friends that he barely knew.

Dwayne felt crushed.

"I saw some terrible things in 'Nam but nothing like this!" revealed Dwayne "I had to make do with a photo of my best friend's mom where she was showing a little too much cleavage and you could just make out the top of her nipple"

Facebook have said that they will offer users like Dwayne, counseling. It is believed that the therapy will include a year's subscription to a popular adult oriented site.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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