Bill O'Reilly's Book On Abraham Lincoln Has Been Found To Have A Few Historical Inaccuracies

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

image for Bill O'Reilly's Book On Abraham Lincoln Has Been Found To Have A Few Historical Inaccuracies
A member of the Occupy Wall Street Movement reading Bill O'Reilly's latest book. (Photo by Tilapia Frisbee).

NEW YORK CITY - One of the nation's leading political talk show commentators Bill O'Reilly says that he really enjoyed writing his latest book titled, Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination That Changed America Forever.

The 62-year-old host of television's O'Reilly Factor recently sat down with Tilapia Frisbee of The Right Coast Illustrated Revue at The Cinderella Cafeteria in Manhattan.

O'Reilly had a plate of Sweet and Sour Squirrel Paws and Tilapia had a plate of Tilapia Smothered in Crushed Skittles and Salsa Verde (Green Hot Sauce).

As they sat having their dinner Miss Frisbee asked Mr. O'Reilly how much he makes per year. He put down his knife and fork and replied that it really was none of her business.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Bill O makes $20 million per year.]

She then asked him if he ever hears from Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg who walked out on him when he appeared on their show The View.

He smiled and said that he had not and added that Joy and Whoopi are perfect examples of two females who love to dish it out but who cannot take it.

Frisbee then asked him if he had ever made amends with The Good Sisters of St. Beyonce of the Boston Chapter of Nuns. O'Reilly shook his head and replied that he had not and added that he thinks that Sister Brenda, Sister Payola, and Sister Miyasaki need to contact him and apologize for cursing at him on his show and for comparing him to Jerry Springer.

Miss Frisbee then told O'Reilly that she had read his new book and that she liked it but that it had quite a bit of historical inaccuracies.

Bill exploded. "The book has no inaccuracies whatsoever, so I do not appreciate you sitting here in the Cinderella Cafeteria and insulting me by saying that it does."

"Hold on there Popeye, don't go getting your panties in a wad" Frisbee fired back.

"In chapter 5 page, 61, you refer to Lincoln as being the 13th president of the United States, well everyone knows, even Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Malia Obama that he was the 16th president.

You also wrote in chapter 7, page 83, that Lincoln had actually approved the photo that appeared on the five dollar bill. But history tells us that Lincoln actually had no say whatsoever in what photo was placed on the bill."

Frisbee went on to say that Abraham Lincoln was asked to approve the likeness of him that was put on the penny and he said that he really liked it and joked that it made him look ten years younger.

O'Reilly told Frisbee that she was wrong about the five dollar bill and asked her if she was a Democrat. Frisbee told him that it was none of his effen business.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Tilapia Frisbee is a registered Democrat.]

Miss Frisbee pointed out that O'Reilly had written that President Lincoln had been shot in Chevrolet's Theater when everyone knows that it was actually in Ford's Theater.

O'Reilly turned red and replied that he did not take the blame for that and that it was totally the fault of the proofreader who did not catch his mistake.

He looked at his watch and told Frisbee that he had to leave because he had to meet with Sean Hannity to discuss some Nancy Pelosi bashing that they have been working on.

The 'O'Reilly Factor has just been named the number two rated cable show in all of Central America. It is second only to the reality show, 'The Real Housewives of The Banana Republic.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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