Written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

image for Congressman Ron Paul Talks Candidly About The NFL and The Weather Channel
Part of the Chick-fil-A cattle herd on Ron Paul's Texas ranch, "El Rancho Viejo" (The Old Ranch).

MONTPELIER, New Hampshire - Ron Paul spoke before a crowd in the parking lot of a local Silly Sardine Swedish Restaurant.

He received quite an ovation when he told the crowd that if elected president he will do his very best to see to it that the state of New Hampshire gets its very own National Football League team.

Paul told the crowd estimated to be at between 90 and 92 people that he is very good friends with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and that he is pretty sure that he can pull some strings and make it happen.

The crowd erupted in chants of "RON-NIE! RON-NIE! RON-NIE!" One elderly woman, who later said she was 97, walked up to him and gave him a great big kiss right on the mouth.

Paul smiled, wiped his lips, and remarked that he was 76-years-old and he now knows how Ashton Kutcher feels being married to a "Cougar."

A voice from the back asked him what he planned on doing about the Weather Channel. He thanked the man for his question and replied that he would definitely see about having The Weather Channel change their overused Local Weather on the Eights feature and replace it with Local Weather on the Eight.

Paul went on to say "I have always felt that the Local Weather on the Eights feature was so unnecessary. I mean come on lets face it, once an hour is more than enough but not six friggin times an hour!"

SIDENOTE. GOP maven Ann Coulter has said that out of all of the GOP presidential candidates that Ron Paul of Texas is by far the cutest, nicest, and the one who knows more about cattle and cattle stuff than any other candidate.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Ron Paul

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