Mariah Carey and Michael Buble Hire Gloria Allred To Force Kim Kardashian To Return All of Her Wedding Gifts
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Noted singers Michael Buble and Mariah Carey have both come out as saying that Kim Kardashian should be ashamed of herself for tricking the entire world into believing that her recent wedding to NBA lockout player Kris Humphries was...
Read full storyPianos to be extended by four keys
It is the news that musicians across the world and time itself have been waiting for, as news comes out of the Scottish Music Symposium, the world authority on music, that pianos are to get two extra keys at the low end, and two extra keys at the hig...
Read full storyRice hair cures bald man's hair-loss
Its thought a cure for baldness has finally been found and it was found by accident! Zen Mohawk is a rice picker working in the paddy fields in China and one day after a fight with his wife she poured cooked rice on his head. It's thought the man...
Read full storyKris Humphries, Marc Anthony, and Jim Carrey To Star In The New Reality Show 'Celebrity Guys Who Did Not Want To Get Divorced'
LOS ANGELES - The Epitome Network has just announced that they will soon begin filming a new reality show about famous males whose wives filed for divorce. The show titled Celebrity Guys Who Did Not Want To Get Divorced is the brain child of Danci...
Read full storyPreparations Underway For Journey Of Olympic Flame
Preparations are now underway to ensure the safe journey of the Olympic Flame from the ancient Greek site of Olympia to the Olympic Stadium in London, for the 2012 Olympic Games. 'Many people wonder how the Flame can travel all that way without mi...
Read full storyJustin Timberlake joins the US Marines!
After taking up an offer to escort a rather dishy, female martial arts expert to the Marine Corps ball Justin Timberlake felt so inadequate that he decided to toughen himself up and join the marines. The dishy Marine, Kelsey de Santis, proved that...
Read full storyHerman Cain to Head Bologna Company
In a surprising turn today, Herman Cain GOP candidate and former CEO of several fortune 5-Million company's dropped out of his run to be the GOP nominee. Cain's reason for withdrawing was a simple one, someone on Cains staff had finally explained to...
Read full storySocial Media Turning Americans Into Socialists, Study Warns
Washington, DC - America's growing use of social media is transforming the population of the United States into "a gang of pinko, socialist subversives," according to a study by a leading conservative think tank. In a comprehensive three-page repo...
Read full storyPudsey to lose eyepatch in swingeing BBC cuts to Children in Need
The BBC is to strip Children in Need's flagship fundraiser, Pudsey the Bear, of his modesty preserving eyepatch amidst swingeing cuts to the budget for this month's annual broadcast, according to reports. Pudsey, who sustained the head wound when...
Read full storyProgress?
More women were starting to go out to work in the 1950's, but most still stayed at home looking after their kids while the man of the house went out to work to bring home the dosh. My mum worked then but it was just extra pin-money from what was called 'home work'. There'd be big boxes of toy 'matchbox' cars delivered to our house twice a week from a firm called Lesney. She'd spend hours each day...
Read full storyGoogle Earth shows Chinese 'Area 51' hiding vast alien hangar: reports
Gansu Province - The huge UFO monster responsible for gobbling up Russia's $160 million Zenit-2SB rocket-powered Phobos-Grunt probe last week is believed to be stationed at the top secret Ding Xin military air base. Google Earth pictures released...
Read full storyCar-parks to crack down on inflatable cars
The UK's big three Car-Park operators are banding together to make inflatable cars illegal. "It's getting ridiculous," said N-CARP Chief of Operations, Carl Parkin. "At any one time in our town centre car-parks, about half of the spaces are occupi...
Read full storyStoned Dutch woman breaks her nose by slamming into her wardrobe door!
Venlo, Holland: A totally stoned out of her brains Dutch woman ended up in hospital today after breaking her nose whilst walking into her wardrobe door. Emergency services rushed to the scene to find the woman bleeding profusely, her nose broken,...
Read full storyKate fears 'buried alive horror' as William exiled to Lossiemouth
London - Media bollox about a move to Princess Margaret Thatcher's former Kensington Palace grace and favor bolthole were dealt a death blow today. An RAF announcement has confirmed Kate Middleton's chopper pilot husband William is to be sectioned...
Read full storyBankers Take Over Bid
Greece and Italy have disposed with going through the pretence of having a democratic government by appointing bankers - who else? - to sort out the problems caused by bankers. However the new unelected Italian PM, Romeo Panti told our contact in...
Read full storyPolice Officers Celebrate 'Harold and Kumar' Release
Officers nationwide celebrated the launch of "A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas" with over 20,000 reports of drug use prevented last week. Police say it was one of the greatest busts in the country's history. "A couple of the boys and I camped...
Read full storyRon Paul Furious At Only Being Allowed 89 Seconds To Speak At The Spartanburg, South Carolina GOP Debate
CARIBOU, Maine - Congressman Ron Paul of Texas, brought his campaign bus tour to Caribou, Maine, the town famous for being the place where the cell phone term 'sexting' was first used. Paul, 76, spoke to a crowd of 17 people who had gathered in th...
Read full storySilvio Berlusconi gets a Playboy Franchise
Silvio Berlusconi, the disgraced former Prime Minister of Italy, recently supplanted by Mario Monti, has quit politics altogether and been granted a Playboy Franchise by Hugh Hefner. "Silvio is an ideal person to run the Italian Playboy Franchise,...
Read full storyOnline email providers urged to adopt biometric passwords
After a recent spate of email account hacking the online email providers, like GoogleMail, Yahoo and Hotmail, have all been urged to adopt biometric password systems. "Email hacking has become very sophisticated in recent months," said internet se...
Read full storyDespite 0-10 record, Indianapolis Colts show amazing consistency
INDIANAPOLIS, In.--After dropping to a league-worst 0-10 after a 17-3 loss to Jacksonville this weekend, the Peyton-less Colts are showing themselves to be serious contenders with the 2008 Detroit Lions for the worst team in NFL history. This sai...
Read full storyCome Dancing at Shepherds Bush Green
In an effort to raise much needed funds, the BBC is thinking of moving its popular show 'Strictly Come Dancing' to the summer and filming it on Shepherds Bush Green. "Due to cuts, we are finding it hard to afford the outfits for our couples, so s...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Twenty-nine
A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 52 - Further Guarding Escapades/Incidents - Alarming Tale in Derby The control room called me at home, asking me to go to a large Derby electrical retailer, who'd been hit the night before. I set off, finding the famous store, on a retail park, right next to one of t...
Read full storyAnother hole due to farting
A second hole in the ozone layer has been discovered, but this time its thought the cause of it is farting! "With so many foods that give us wind these days its not really a surprise. We know beans and cheese are high on the list of 'wind makers...
Read full storyGOP Polls Show Michele Bachmann Has Fallen Down To Sixth Place - She Blames Part of It On The Ron Paul Rumors
EL DORADO, Arkansas - It appears that Congresswoman Michele Bachmann of Minnesota may be heading back home to The Land of 10,000 Lakes for good. Polls taken after the latest GOP Presidential Debate in Spartanburg, South Carolina show that the woma...
Read full storyUnited Nations: 'Holy ayatollah, forget about AK47s - the Iranians are well on their way to the H-Bomb'
It has only been a week since the International Atomic Energy Agency report handed down a damning commentary on Iran's nuclear activities. In an excerpt from the report, the United Nations highlighted the progression of Iran's nuclear activity in the...
Read full storyWild Turkeys Enjoy Thanksgiving Feast in Staten Island Town
Thumbing their beaks at town residents who had complained about their presence in the community, a flock of about 100 wild turkeys added insult to injury last night by throwing themselves a huge Thanksgiving feast in the park at the town center.
Read full storyNASCAR's Kyle Busch Has Hired The Services of Famed Attorney Gloria Allred
AVONDALE, Arizona - Kyle Busch who let road rage get to him down at The Truck Series in Texas sat down and made an apology to the makers of M&M's Plain and M&M's Peanut, who are his primary sponsors. Busch, sat at a table while eating a ba...
Read full story