Herman Cain to Head Bologna Company

Funny story written by ThePoliticalBone Picker

Monday, 14 November 2011


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In a surprising turn today, Herman Cain GOP candidate and former CEO of several fortune 5-Million company's dropped out of his run to be the GOP nominee. Cain's reason for withdrawing was a simple one, someone on Cains staff had finally explained to him that the Iowa Caucus, had nothing to do with a Midwestern sex party, nor did any of the other Caucuses.

Cain, the shrewd business man that he is, has already received an offer to head up Big Daddy Bologna.

BD Bologna, famous for their extra long loaf bologna, had already been shopping Wall Street, for their next Big Bologna CEO.

Company spokesman Philmore Butts said Cain had been on Big Daddy's radar since he first heard him speak almost a years ago, but Cain announced his intentions to run for the GOP.

Butts said,"the first time I heard Herman speak I knew this was a man who could sell bologna". "Big Daddy needed someone who was familiar with bologna lines, and I have heard no one with a better line for bologna than Herman Cain".

Big Daddy Bologna, which is extremely popular among male consumers, said it's hope was that Cain will lead the charge reaching out to more female customers all over the country.

Director of Bologna Operations for Big Daddy, Seymour Booty said Cain's past expertise showed no tentativeness in touching new consumers bases. Butts and Booty were instrumental in being the two driving forces luring Cain to Big Daddy.

At their press conference announcing the hire, Booty, who is the Director of Bologna Operations said, "going forward our hope is that when you think of Bologna you think of Big Daddy, and when you think of Big Daddy you think of Cain, and when you think of Cain you'll remember Butts and Booty put him here".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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