Chimp Update: Jihad Foils Extraordinary Rendition Transfer
As last reported, attempts to make Jihad the Chimp give up the location of Osama bin Laden by waterboarding have failed. Alarmed by the non-stop grunting and gesticulations by the hirsute orangutan and fearing that he might create an insurrectio...
Read full storyLocal Man Sets Up Blog
It's come to light that local man and talentless occasional TheSpoof.com contributor, Martin Shuttlecock has actually set up a blog - although it appears that having gone thus far, he is utterly devoid of ideas regarding how to proceed with it. Lo...
Read full storyOnline Mastermind Game Crashes BBC Website
The Producers of BBC Mastermind were in shock last night after they were blamed for the catastrophic crash of the BBC's Online Service. The collapse came just 10 minutes after the presenter of the show made an unusual but seemingly innocent anno...
Read full storyGay Man Annoyed that his Scientific Studies are Being ignored
A gay man is angry and offended that his ground-breaking research into cures for Cancer, Heart Disease, Alzheimer's Disease and the Common Cold are being ignored purely on the grounds of his gayness. Larry Sabu, 20, says that he has been busy work...
Read full storyGay Man Lives Next to School
A gay man has bought a house next to a school in a quiet suburb of Scunthorpe and upset the respectable residents who fear their male children will become 'victims of a monster'. Larry Sabu, 20, said it is a "nice area" and that he is "thrilled th...
Read full storyIsle Of Wight News - Baked Bean Bonanza At Bembridge!
News just in - There's been an astonishing twist of events just off the Bembridge shoreline as spectacularly large shoals of baked beans began amassing just yards out to sea. Crowds of local children - many wearing odd socks - who were initially l...
Read full storyNewest Celebrity Diet Craze Turns Out to Be Cocaine
Beverley Hills, CA - In response to a flurry of high profile celebrity endorsements, the hottest new celebrity diet seems to be rapidly spreading around the country as more and more Americans search for a weight loss plan that doesn't include exercis...
Read full storyIt's Party time. 400th anniversary of the King James Bible. Time to celebrate. Royal Wedding coming up too. There's a connection. Read story.
Mark the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible by throwing a party. Why not? St. Patrick's Day has passed for another year. Even non-Irish folk were out in the streets all around the world, wearing green and drinking green beer.....today...peeing green pee. If atheists can celebrate St. Paddy's day...they'll be out in great numbers for this 400th anniversary of the King James Bible bas...
Read full storyKristen Stewart Denies Making "Off-Color" Remarks About Naomi Campbell
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Kristen Stewart one of the stars of the Twilight series has stated emphatically that she did not make any remarks that would be considered to be "Off-Color" in regards to Naomi Campbell. It appears that Campbell, who is known as "...
Read full storyManchester United Chelsea Champions League Tie Could Be Exciting
There were howls of expectant excitement at the respective homes of Premier League rivals Manchester United and Chelsea this morning when the two giants, both previous winners of the trophy, were drawn together in the quarter final stages of this yea...
Read full storyUK naughty "Postman Pat" kills a cat, what a rat!
A UK postman who killed a cat on his rounds is not quite like his TV colleague, Postman Pat, who loved his pussy?. The "friendly" postman was doing his rounds when Tiddy the tabby jumped into his basket of mail hoping for a stroke, instead the eld...
Read full storyGay Man Has Ringpiece Cleaned
A horribly rampant homosexual man from Manchester has shocked friends and family with a gruesome tale of how he had his arsehole cleaned. Larry Sabu, 20, who claims to have bedded no less than 250 men, says that he awoke last Thursday to a feeling...
Read full storyAmerican Idol: Karen Rodriguez Told To Head On Back To New York - Pia Toscano Says She Can Smell The Finals
HOLLYWOOD - Last year's American Idol winner Lee DeWyze got to showcase his brand new song "Beautiful Kinda Like You Sorta" and The Black Eyed Peas got to showcase their lead singer Fergie's new "Non-Fergie" look. Lee did good and he did manage to...
Read full storyToxic Japanese plume to reach Daily Mail readers 'by the Spring Equinox'
London - The equinoctial rollercoaster countdown begins today amid reports that 'articles spumed from the wrecked nuke plants' will affect 9 out of 10 of the tabloid's readers. Radioactive fumes being carried on a wave of hysteria have already pen...
Read full storyScott Walker Proposes Wisconsin Sunlight Taxation Law
Wisconsin's right wing governor, Scott Walker, is set to create more controversy with his latest revenue-generating scheme. He plans to block out the sun with a statewide parasol and only open apertures over communities that pay. Walker and his...
Read full storyAmerican Idol: Randy 'The Dawg' Jackson Asks "Yo Yo Dawg, Wassup With The Black Eyed Peas' Fergie?"
HOLLYWOOD - The American Idol lights came on and we saw the Black Eyed Peas on stage, or at least 50 percent of the BEP's. Fergie was sitting on a piano that was being played by, he of the lower case, will.i.am. But as the camera zoomed in on M...
Read full storyCrosby Approaches Red Wings for 2012 Trade
Shocking the professional hockey world in what was supposed to be private and highly clandestine negotiations, NHL branded superstar, Sydney Crosby has approached the Detroit Red Wings organization for a potential trade that would bring him to Hockey...
Read full storyBrazen Bank Robber In A Wheel Chair Holds Up The Second National Bank of Baltimore
BALTIMORE - In what many local law enforcement authorities are calling the most brazen bank robbery in Baltimore's history, a man in a wheel chair entered Baltimore's Second National Bank and held it up. The robber who has been identified as Barnw...
Read full storyBerkshire-Hathaway Backs G7 Support of the Yen
Following the declaration of financial support yesterday by G7 countries in the stabilization of the Japanese Yen, and a few celebratory top shelf margaritas to close out their press conference, U.K. and U.S. Finance Ministers were the first to reali...
Read full storyJapan Nuclear Threat 'No Problem' To Gay Man
A gay man from Manchester has publicly stated that the threat posed by the potential nuclear meltdown in Japan, has left him 'bored' and that, rather than being worried about the effects of a dose of radiation, he is more concerned over what he is go...
Read full storyPeaches Has Become Rotten
Peaches Geldof has had some bad publicity this week in the media after revelations that the party girl had stolen a dress from a boutique. Further shocking revelations about her personal life have come to light. The spoilt little rich girl has b...
Read full storyProblems in Libya disappear as Simon Cowell flies in
The mayhem, chaos and other Libyan unrest all came to a halt last night, with things quickly returning to abnormal in the country. Simon Cowell, complete with unreal-looking teeth and premium-rate telephone numbers, was flown in to Tripoli by Cedr...
Read full storyMiranda To Become New 'Little Britain"
Self-deprecating Miranda Hart is to become the biggest cult comedy show after Gavin and Stacey. The self-effacing female comic creates comic situations gently making fun of situations at her own expense. It is the case with a lot of classic comed...
Read full storyDermot loses American X-Factor Gig To Enrique Iglesias
Dermot has failed to be successful in getting the American X-Factor gig. The disappointed presenter has lost out to heart-throb Enrique Iglesias. He is expected to return to host the UK X-Factor and is expected to work alongside guest celebrities who will take it in turns to be on the judges panel. George Michael is being paid £70K to be a guest host on one episode of the X-Factor. The pro...
Read full storyConspiracy Against Spoof Feared
Fears are growing of an international conspiracy against Spoof by unknown dark forces, once spoken of by the Queen. Their aim is to make the news so terrible that satire and humour cannot get an edge into the world perspective. Japan is a case in point. To create so much damage and mayhem to stop Spoof writers in their tracks is mind boggling. On top of this the crisis in Libya and all the e...
Read full storyJapanese Quake Causes Spike In Work "Sickies"
Employers around the world have been reporting increases in staff absences due to illness this week - and the Japanese earthquake is to blame, say experts. Boffins reckon that the huge quake last Friday shifted the Earth on its axis by 6.5 inches.
Read full storyBrian Cox "Wonders" Revelations Kick Off Energy Bill Bonanza
Energy companies have been in prolonged talks this week following revelations about energy-use during a popular documentary series. In Wonders of the Universe Prof Brian Cox decribed how everything in the universe - including us - is made of stuff...
Read full storyDerek Acorah to appear on Deal or No Deal
Derek Acorah, the Jedi Master of Psychics is to appear alongside Mystic Meg, Joe Power, Colin Fry, Belinda Bentley and several other celebrity psychics in a special one-off edition of the tedious probabilities show, Deal or No Deal. "This is going...
Read full storyMP Rebuked For Using Mobile In Commons
Burnley M.P Gordon Birtwistle has been censored for playing with a children's Mobile in the House of Commons. John Bercow, the Commons Speaker, had to tell the Liberal Democrat MP to put the mobile away and sit down as the rotating leaves and colo...
Read full storyVilla Players Disciplined After Spa Incident
Two of Premiership outfit Aston Villa's senior players have been disciplined following an incident at a team bonding day at a health spa last week. Manager Gerard Houllier confirmed that "firm and punitive" action had been taken against centre hal...
Read full storyHexes & Hoes: a Real Life Coven Drama
The Circle is set, the words are spoke, the spell is cast, "so it be mote"! Then Lights, Camera, Action! Today a new drama is being filmed in the backdrop of the classically witchy town of Salem, Massachusetts. The story was laid out for the new...
Read full storyPolice Given Bike Training
Grampian Police are arranging one day training sessions to all their officers on how to use a push bike safely. Instructions on how to get on and off a bike as well as how to ring the bell are on offer as well as advanced training on how to get in...
Read full storyBob Dylan's Ode To Dundee United Fans
Bob Dylan's ode to the insipid travelling support that follow Dundee United. "Hey, Mr. Tangerine Man - Have a moan to me I'm an armchair fan, there is no place I'm going to Hey Mr. Tangerine Man - have a moan to me For on match days I will not be following you Take me for a trip with your travelling support Of bodies you're well short Even with free transport Yo...
Read full storyDennis The Menace is 60
One of the most famous comic characters in the U.K. has ras celebrated his 60th birthday. Dennis The Menace, the troublemaker that has graced the pages of the Beano since 1951, reached the grand old age this year. To celebrate the achievement,...
Read full storyUnited Nations Authorize No Fly Zone
The United Nations has at last voted to authorize a No Fly Zone....over Saddam Hussain's Iraq. The U.N. Security Council finally reached agreement on the measure after 9 years of negotiations. Even Russia and China, usually the countries to use...
Read full storyChris Moyles Sets Record
Radio One DJ Chris Moyles has got his name in the record books after hosting his 2 hour show without insulting anyone in the process. Since his career took off in 1997, Moyles has offended amongst others John Peel, Dr Fox, single mothers, female...
Read full storySimon Cowell May Be Replacing X-Factor Judge Dannii Minogue With His Fiancee Mezhgan Hussainy
LONDON - Since the departure of X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole to America to be with her boyfriend Derek Hough, aka "The Dancing Dude" Simon Cowell has been trying to figure out who to replace Chezza with. And although he has not yet made his final de…
Read full storySteven Spielberg and George Lucas Want To Buy Arizona
HOLLYWOOD - Hollywood motion picture moguls Steven Spielberg and George Lucas have stated that they are seriously considering purchasing the entire state of Arizona. Spielberg informed Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that he has had his attorney do some ex...
Read full storyCrew of Final Shuttle Mission Plan a Special Landing to Remember
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL - The flight crew of the final shuttle mission, scheduled to launch in late June, have a surprise up their sleeves. Everyone on the last flight of the Space Shuttle Program have agreed to end it with a bang, but hopefully not too...
Read full storyIran publishes pics of retro-engineered saucer
Tehran - The Ahmadinejad Jet Convulsion Laboratory today issued pictures of the country's first ever retro-engineered flying saucer. The Waffen-SS-Zohal had been unpicked back to its bare nuts and bolts and reconfigured in a painstaking 10-year op...
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