Brian Cox "Wonders" Revelations Kick Off Energy Bill Bonanza

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Friday, 18 March 2011

image for Brian Cox "Wonders" Revelations Kick Off Energy Bill Bonanza
Someone's in for a shock.

Energy companies have been in prolonged talks this week following revelations about energy-use during a popular documentary series.

In Wonders of the Universe Prof Brian Cox decribed how everything in the universe - including us - is made of stuff created in the centres of stars, like our Sun.

The energy used by these stars is immense, he explained.

"Our Sun uses billions and billions of tons of hydrogen every minute," he said.

Energy suppliers, such as Npower and British Gas, immediately saw an opportunity to increase their business.

Said a spokesman for the Cartel of Global Energy Supply: "We had no idea!

"All that energy and no-one's paying for it. Someone is getting an awful lot of gas for free and this has been going on for years apparently.

"Is that fair on all our other consumers? I don't think so.

"We are in urgent talks about who to bill and how much they owe. We are confident that our shareholders will be extremely pleased with the resultant income flow."

However, he added that it was unlikely this windfall for the companies would see a reduction in bills for domestic users.

"You must understand that we have considerable structural and infrastructure costs which we have to pass on to the consumer. Any bonanza from stellar energy billing will be earmarked for improved service, research and development and not to line anyone's pockets. Not at all."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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