Hexes & Hoes: a Real Life Coven Drama

Written by Waskily Wabbit

Friday, 18 March 2011


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Christian Day: Look at me! Look at ME!

The Circle is set, the words are spoke, the spell is cast, "so it be mote"! Then Lights, Camera, Action! Today a new drama is being filmed in the backdrop of the classically witchy town of Salem, Massachusetts.

The story was laid out for the new drama "Hexes & Hoes" starring real life Witches, Christian Day and Lorelei (also known as Toppsy Curvy in the porn industry).

In the pilot show, Lorelei calls out fellow witch Barbara as a hooker and crack addict in "The Pot Calls the Kettle Black", all the while Christian Day tries like hell to marry the publicity he so lusts after by riding the Charlie Sheen wagon in "Warlocks Amok", wherein he makes a big production of casting a binding spell on Charlie, and reinforcing the act by selling the viewing rites to Pay Per View.

Writers for the show are being paid exorbitant amounts of money to sit on their butts all day and just listen and record daily events of the two.

One writer, Matt Gubler, describes the trashy drama, as "real to their life as it gets", and "if only we'd have a laugh track it would be a sitcom".

Christian Day sat down with us in an interview to help clear the air before the show aired. One question was asked, "Is Lorelei actually Toppsy Curvy, the busty nude model?"

Immediately Day was furious, spouting all kinds of Latin sounding verbiage and at once pulled out a long crooked stick fashioned with symbols.

"Whoa there big guy, save it for the show!"

He suddenly wiped a tear away from his overly black lined eye before his midnight makeup ran.

"I have no problems cursing people I warn Thee!" he stated in more of a hurt ten year old voice than in a manner befitting any adult. At the end of our interview we had gained a clearer picture of the famous Witches of "Hexes & Hoes".

Now we know, it's more than just a catchy title.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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