Villa Players Disciplined After Spa Incident

Funny story written by grimbo

Friday, 18 March 2011

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Two of Premiership outfit Aston Villa's senior players have been disciplined following an incident at a team bonding day at a health spa last week.

Manager Gerard Houllier confirmed that "firm and punitive" action had been taken against centre halves James Collins and Richard Dunne after a complaint had been made against them by another service user at the exclusive Springs Health Resort near Scunthorpe in Lincolnshire.

Although neither the Birmingham club nor the Spa would comment on the nature of the incident, unnamed sources have revealed that the complaint centres around certain "inappropriate behaviour" in the large jacuzzi.

According to the source, a number of players from the relegation threatened club were relaxing in the jacuzzi along with a French businessman and his family.

One of the French party complained to the Health Resort's management that an "excessive number of bubbles seemed to be emanating from the direction of a ginger haired footballer even when the jacuzzi was disengaged" while another of the party noted that a "yellow coloured jet originated from the vicinity of an Irish speaking sportsperson....but there had been no lemon Imperial Leather bath drench provided".

Its understood that the Aston Villa squad been banned sine die from returning to the spa.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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