Robert Pattinson To Star In New Guy Ritchie Movie
Twilight sex symbol Robert Pattinson - who stars as star-crossed boy vampire Edwin Culvert in the Twilight movies about a hapless boy vampire whose fangs haven't come through because he's still got his milk teeth - is set to star in English director...
Read full storySteward, Paul Schwing, believes Mystery Blonde is on his aeroplane (airplane) heading for Heathrow.
Steward, Paul Schwing, emailed his partner George Snapalogupos, who works for a Greek Airline, just before Paul's British Airway's flight A069, left Buffalo Airport, New York,this evening, heading for Heathrow Airport, London, England. George imme...
Read full storyHacking Hearing - Rupert Murdoch Plays Bart Simpson Card
As he sat before the Parliamentary Select Committe, alongside his son, James, the nation tuned in to rolling news channels, hoping to get some kind of insight into the murky world of News International from media tycoon Rupert Murdoch. For a scand...
Read full storyRebekah Brooks Hires Casey Anthony Attorney, Flees to Undisclosed Location After Testimony in Commons!
Rebekuh Brooks, former News of the World secretary, elevated to Editor of the Rupert Murdoch News Empire, testified before the House of Commons today addressing members of the Committee on Culture (sic), Media and Sports regarding revelations of pho...
Read full storyTakwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones have their heads turned by new Boro 'signing' Malaury Martin
Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough are no longer focused on the phone hacking scandal involving Rebeckah Brooks. They met with a Spoof reporter this morning and discussed the signing of French mid-fielder Malaury Martin to Middlesbrough FC. Both young women were giggling as they sat down at a table near the window in Morrison's restaurant, Berwick Hills.
Read full storyWhorseriding with Cameron: I was spoofed moans Rebekah
London - Rebekah Brooks has vigorously denied sharing a bareback saddle with the Prime Minister. "That would be incest," Medusa-curled Mrs B told the Commons Culture/Media/Sports committee. Or being in a betting syndicate with the First Lord of...
Read full storyNPITFA Says Pies Don't Thump People - People Thump People
In the aftermath of the attack on Rupert Murdoch today the National Pie in the Face Association once again strongly defended the right of all citizens to own custard pies. Morpheus Crown, nation chairman of the NPITFA, strongly condemned the unpr...
Read full storyCustard Pie Strike On Murdoch for Democracy
The most important blow for democratic freedom for thirty years was struck today when, in frenzied scenes, some no-mark got his fifteen minutes of fame. Something genuinely interesting and important was unfolding before an enthralled nation, so it...
Read full storyMystery Blonde heads back to England to meet up with Chicharito in Manchester
Photographer and journalist Ivor Lenson was, yesterday, distraught at the the thought that he would be forced to abandon his 'mission' to discover the identity of the Mystery Blonde. Walking along the sidewalk towards the park in Niagara-on-the-La...
Read full storyPie-in-the-B-Sky-B as Murdochs stage cream cake stunt
London - A cream pie-in-the-gob that smeared Rupert Murdoch on live TV may have been a NewsCorpse own-goal PR stunt. Hours of tricky questioning had seen the octogenarian media mogul struggling to convince a Parliamentary committee when the lone p...
Read full storyTSA Launches 'Finders/Keepers' to Battle the Deficit
Washington DC - The Federal Government's army of airport security guards is being enlisted in the fight to reduce the nation's budget deficit. Under a new program called "Finders/Keepers," TSA agents will be empowered to seize any currency, jewelr...
Read full storyMercury Prize Nominations - "Unbelievable" Says Expert
PJ Harvey is the early favourite to win the Mercury Prize 2011 with her album Let England Shake after the nominations were announced yesterday. She will be up against - among others - Adele, who is currently enjoying massive success on both side o...
Read full story£1000+ Fines For Leaving Your Rubbish Bins Out Too Long!
Government Ministers are saying they will consider bringing in a new law to stop councils from fining people heavily when leaving their rubbish bins out too long. The warning to councils comes following a report that one of Britain's councils is thre...
Read full storyRude Doctors Breed Bad Health, Says Surgeon
Polite doctors produce healthier patients, studies of staff behaviour in hospitals have found. Andrew Klein, an American liver surgeon, writing in the Archives of Surgery, said doctors who were rude to staff negatively affected operations. "Wel...
Read full storyDesperate Housewives Set For Last Stand
The Desperate Housewives of Wisteria Lane are set to draw the blinds on their adventures for the last time. No longer will audiences revel in the misadventures and scheming of Susan, Lynette, Bree and Gabrielle, as sources close to the show say cr...
Read full storyDuke and Duchess of Cambridge snub Cambridge
(Si Cofant, Royal correspondent): The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have moved into their first royal residence as a married couple, an apartment in Kensington Palace. The Duchess was said to have been 'overwhelmed' when she saw it for the first tim...
Read full storyScientists Confirm Paris Hilton's Theory, The Earth is HOT
With reports of Albert Einstein physically turning over in his grave, scientists have recently confirmed that the popular theory made famous by media favorite, Paris Hilton, that the Earth is indeed "HOT". Measuring the radioactive decay of our pl...
Read full storyKatie Holmes Joins Charlie Sheen on Set of Anger Management
Following the recent announcement of Charlie Sheen for the new Sit-Com "Anger Management", Katie Holmes was confirmed to play Sheen's foil in the series, albeit with seven detailed pages of contingencies attached to the deal. In a surprise alignme...
Read full storyFormer News of the World journalists open 'Hack and Tap' gastro steak pub
Former journalists from the News of the World have banded together to open a new steak pub in the heart of Fleet Street. Called the "Hack and Tap", the new restaurant offers fine steaks you can 'hack' at, with great drinks on 'tap'. Failing that,...
Read full storyWorld Economic Disaster Looms but Hot Dogs Are Still a Dollar
Featured near a patio table outside the Handyman Hardware & Lumberyard in Waukesha, Wisconsin, two Boy Scouts from local troop #421 were hawking hot dogs to raise money for an upcoming camping trip. Their handmade poster-board advertisement was...
Read full storyHeston Blumenthal opens a music shop
Gastronomic experimenter Heston Blumenthal has moved out of the kitchen and into the orchestra pit with a new venture: Music. "It's a sad state of affairs," said Blumenthal. "There is a dearth of inventiveness with music instruments. We are stuck...
Read full storyNutty Theory Confirmed by Scientific Study!
Ready-peeled nut companies will have to include the shells of the nuts in their bags from September this year following a ruling by the EU in Brussels. It comes as part of the EU's concerted efforts to see a significant reduction in the numbers of ob...
Read full storyPixar's Cars Subject of Toothpaste Lawsuit
A pharmaceutical and healthcare giant is suing Pixar animation studios over the films Cars and Cars 2, claiming that the name of anthropomorphic racing car and lead character Lightning McQueen is an intentional derivation of their popular toothpaste...
Read full storyFat Buster busted for cheating
Claire Buoyant has become the first person to ever be banned from Fat Busters, the weight-loss program. "We had to ask her not to come any more," said Chief Fat Buster, Wayne Station. "She looked like she wasn't losing any weight, but each week, s...
Read full storyRevelations on Old Age
This article was admitted... er submitted, by a Spoof reporter of great maturity and senility, during one of his rare moments of semi-lucidity. Written while he was in the queue at the local Job Centre Plus Jobs Fair, where it was gently pointed out to him, his age, his mental state, his medical conditions, and was then asked to zip up his flies, he was led out of the building by security. Anyway,...
Read full storyJustin Bieber To Star In Dirty Dancing Remake: In 3D
According to Hollywood Reporter, Justin Bieber has singed on to star in a remake of Dirty Dancing. Details have yet to be released, but according to sources close to the singer, Bieber will co-produce, write,and star in the remake which made Patri...
Read full storyDrug shame threatens future of Tour de Farce
ORGANISERS of the prestigious Tour de Farce cycle race are considering how to save the event following revelations that two unnamed cyclists have tested negative for performance enhancing drugs. It has been alleged that officials were aware of the...
Read full storyIvanka Trump Gives Birth to The Donald's Third Grandchild, Baby Hates Grandpa's Hair
Ivanka Trump and hubby Jared Kushner are proud parents to the third Trump grandchild, Arabella Rose Kushner. The baby looks quite special in the hospital nursery. She's wearing a little cap (embroidered with the words #1 Apprentice) encrusted wit...
Read full storyLady Gaga and Rihanna Admit That Their French Kiss Was Nice But That They're Not Lesbians
BEVERLY HILLS - Lady Gaga and Rihanna both just recently happened to be in the same beauty salon getting their hair done. Lady Gaga has been going to the Haven of Hair Salon on Rodeo Drive for several years. The Gaga has stated on many occasion...
Read full storyTop ten things I will not miss now I have retired from teaching
Here is MY top ten list of things I WILL NOT miss now I have retired from teaching...in reverse order of priority 10. Getting up early and having to get dressed in nice clothes. 9. Driving to work in the winter and spinning my car, sometimes ending up in a snow bank. 8. Having to pack luches and snacks on a daily basis. 7. Writing a Day Book with lesson plans...
Read full storySarah Palin Invites Casey Anthony To Go Hunting Up In Alaska
WASILLA, Alaska - Sarah Palin was back in her hometown of Wasilla, Alaska taking a break from her Nationwide Bus Tour. She was sitting outside her home on Lake Lucille contemplating about the upcoming 2012 presidential race. Palin and a good fr...
Read full storyHeidi Montag and Zac Efron Spotted Moonbathing Down In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Zac Efron who starred in The High School Musical movies and Heidi Montag who gained fame on MTVs The Hills have recently become quite the item. Both were recently seen underneath the Santa Monica Pier where several unnamed...
Read full storyA Little Local Difficulty
A UK Member of Parliament, a boy sent out to do a man's job, ended up a screaming, bullying, finger pointing fool on BBC Newsnight. Discussing the phone hacking scandal, that he described as "a little local difficulty", the MP, who we can call Kno...
Read full storyGovernment's ' Minister of Austerity' Announced!
Prime Minister David Cameron has announced the name of the person who will become Britain's first ever Minister of Austerity. The position has been offered to and accepted by the Right Horrible Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly, Conservative Member...
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