London - Rebekah Brooks has vigorously denied sharing a bareback saddle with the Prime Minister.
"That would be incest," Medusa-curled Mrs B told the Commons Culture/Media/Sports committee.
Or being in a betting syndicate with the First Lord of the Treasury.
"Besides, it's a spoof.
"I've never ever been out hacking with my neighbor Dave, someone's taking the piss with that whorsing about bit."
On one matter she was curiously defiant however: her gingery likeness to a spoof photograph of George W Bush, poodle king and penultimate Merovingian Line emperor.
"Shut your gob, or I'll clock you one."
The coincidence had worried MPs who'd endured her lengthy me-me-me rants while secretly very pleased to see her grovelling.
Later in the House of Commons DNA library the ghastly business became perfectly clear.
And somewhere tonight in a Belgravia KGB safehouse Rupert Murdoch bravely Skyped his Pyongyang overlord:
"What now, boss? How much you want on your Bro Jebb winning the GOP ticket for 2012?"
Charlie Brooks is 69.
