Custard Pie Strike On Murdoch for Democracy

Funny story written by Dr Jon

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

image for Custard Pie Strike On Murdoch for Democracy
"Two Four Six Eight" No, fuck off Oliver, we said I'd get to hold the placard this time.

The most important blow for democratic freedom for thirty years was struck today when, in frenzied scenes, some no-mark got his fifteen minutes of fame.

Something genuinely interesting and important was unfolding before an enthralled nation, so it was only natural that some tit, who gives himself a silly nickname which no one else uses, made a truly sad attempt to get himself on the telly.

"This is what it's all about isn't it?" he yelled, as he was led away from the scene "I'm a right political activist aren't I? I'm well zany me! Hey look at me! Look at me! Hello mum!"

Associates of the tiresome wanker say he has been training for this moment for years.

Bill Glitch considers himself a close confident. "Well", he tells me, "I couldn't get away from him at that party, and he's been following me about ever since, so I suppose I'm the nearest he has to 'a friend'"

"He started young, hanging around in the back of shot at sports outside broadcasts with other obnoxious little shits, waving and pulling faces."

"As a student he spent hours blocking the centre of small market towns, pissing everybody off with juvenile demonstrations against war, even though he'd shit himself if he ever went near an airbase. He'd only pause to rush home and see if he could spot himself on television."

"He's so dedicated to getting his silly little mush in on camera that he's never had a proper job or even been much fucking use to man or beast."

The results of all that hard work are there to be seen. Not only has he interrupted a due process of law, he's distracted attention from the most important political development of the century, actually made people feel sorry for Rupert Murdoch and made himself look an utter dickweed.

Not that he cares, cos he was on Telly! Awooga! Follow me on fucking Twitter!

Speculation is growing as to what the tedious prick will do next, with many commentators pinning their hopes on the 'shut up and fuck off' option which many are suggesting would be the most appropriate.

Unfortunately, the narcissistic little fuckhole describes himself, against any evidence, as a "Stand-up Comedian".

There are fears then that the depth of his delusion that anyone is at all interested in his shit is so deep seated it will take far more effort than it should do to get him to sling his hook.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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