Newt Gingrich: "I will drop a nuclear bomb on Mitt Romney!"
Notorious hothead Newt Gingrich today defended his use of an obtuse comment comparing his apparent inability to secure a spot on the Republican presidential primary ballot in Virginia - his home state - to a deadly attack on Pearl Harbor. Gingrich...
Read full storyChina prepares for war in response to Obama calling his dog
WASHINGTON DC - A panicky First Lady called our news desk while seated on her throne: the Chinese military, who had been bugging and listening in on the White House, is at the highest level of military alertness; this in response to the President cal...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Says That He Did Not Appreciate Demi Moore's Christmas Gift One Damn Bit!
SHERMAN OAKS, California - The star of Two and A Half Men, Ashton Kutcher, is definitely upset enough for two and a half men. It seems that Kutcher received a Christmas gift from FedEx which he said was actually in one piece but which he absolute...
Read full storyGiant sloth causes traffic chaos
A giant sloth, trying to cross the main street, brought traffic to a standstill in Romford, Essex. For several days, the giant sloth was first seen hanging one-handed from a street lamp - nothing unusual by Romford standards. But it was when i...
Read full storyPhilip to be treated with homeopathetic maggots
Cambridge - They famously cleared up Princess Margaret's anal warts following delivery complications from giving birth to eldest offspring Visc**nt Linley. Now the larval descendants from the blue blooded bluebottle colony are being sent to Papwor...
Read full storyRex Ryan: the New Ralph Kramden
Rex Ryan is under fire. The fans and media are growing weary of his humor, his bluster, and his arrogance. After pronouncing that his semi-successful team would go to the playoffs, Rex watched as they promptly went out and lost to the New York Gia...
Read full storyUS to test Atomic Bomb in Carshalton
There were mixed emotions from the residents of the small suburban district of Carshalton, Sutton in London, when it was announced from the US department of defence they planned to test a small nuclear warhead in the area. Carshalton, with its po...
Read full storyBritain may restart opium war with China
For centuries Britain has been the world's leading consumer of heroin. Our junkies are the happiest and most wasted on Earth. Indeed, Britain's steel industry was built on providing spoons and syringes for addicts. But now cheap opium from China i...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says That This Years Christmas Present From Her Mom And Dad Is The Worst One She Has Ever Received
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Miley Cyrus has admitted that lately she has been keeping quite a low profile. She has stated that she really wants to concentrate on getting rid of her devil-may-care attitude and bad-girl reputation. Miley said that she wants t...
Read full storyTerror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students: naked
Emmaus, PA, - As previously reported, yesterday the TSA responded to a terror incident at the 6th street elementary school in Emmaus. What appeared to be a simple terror incident is now clouded with possible teacher corruption. It has been reported...
Read full storyKobe & Kate? - Kobe Bryant Denies The Kate Gosselin Romance Rumors
LOS ANGELES - Well it looks like jolly olde St. Nick wasn't too good to jolly olde St. Kobe as his Los Angeles Lakers were beaten by the Chicago Bulls 88-87 in their NBA Christmas Day season opener in Tinsel Town. Bryant playing with a torn wrist...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Stars of 'The Vampire Diaries' Spotted on A Gondola In Venice, Italy In An Intimate PDA
VENICE, Italy - The two stars of The Vampire Diaries were recently photographed together taking a nice trip on a Venitian gondola. The gondola named La Donna Bellissima Erotica is the very same gondola that George Clooney takes when he and his lad...
Read full story"Cougar Town" Is Cancelled - Demi Moore, Jennifer Lopez, and Mariah Carey Are Devastated
LOS ANGELES - Cougar Town the one show about May-December relationships where the female was December and the male was May looks like it's been kicked to Cellulite Land. Sangria Wine with TV ClickerWorld stated that the powers that be have decided...
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