Rex Ryan: the New Ralph Kramden

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 26 December 2011

Rex Ryan is under fire. The fans and media are growing weary of his humor, his bluster, and his arrogance.

After pronouncing that his semi-successful team would go to the playoffs, Rex watched as they promptly went out and lost to the New York Giants. The battle of New York went against the guy from the UFO. And, we don't mean ALF.

Then, Rex found himself exchanging curses with a Giant player instead of a fan. For this infraction, the Commissioner passed on giving a fine and let the losing coach take a bye.

How can you fine Francis the Talking Mule?

All this seems to go to the point that fun-loving guys with a big sense of laughter are not much appreciated in sports. But, we love them on television.

Ryan probably ought to check his history book to find that the other comic bluster master in his day was one fellow named Cassius Clay. He was despised and thought to be a loudmouth without much else.

Clay even showed up wearing a button over his lips once to the flashing cameras. Today, of course, the Internet would have gone ballistic, knocking Twitter off its hinges.

Well, Clay had a shelf life of several years before the humor and delightful presence became manure. He only sealed his fate when he took political stances and changed his religion and name.

We suspect that Rex Ryan will not speak out against war, nor will he adopt a change of faith. However, his shelf life seems to be reaching a nadir. It's time for a sit-com.

Like Clay, later Muhammad Ali, the coach of the New York Jets may find his footprints in the sand of Long Island will be swept away by the incoming tide.

Ali, nee Clay, won the title of King of the World, and it did change his personality. Rex Ryan has merely won the title as T-Rex of the NFL, and that hasn't changed anything.

We said before that Ryan ought to leave the NFL for the MPAAS, or in the shorthand: the movies.

Ryan is a character actor looking for a superhero to give nemesis. Ali went to Hollywood briefly, but his good looks and heroic demeanor was lost on the comedy scene.

Now, Rex Ryan could take on anyone from Mr. Ed to ALF. Go West, Rex, before time passes you by.

Sit at Schwab's Drugstore, and be discovered for your true calling. The world needs another Ralph Kramden.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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