X-Factor - Looks Like It's Goodnight Vienna For Paije - Katie Waissel Stays
A team of media analysts from Swaythling University Of Statistics last night predicted that X-Factor hopeful Paije Richardson will be given the chop this evening, following a dramatic sing-off with Wagner. Professor Hughie Ralph told Skoob Enterta...
Read full storyG20 protests continue
In cities around the world, particularly in South Korea where G20 meetings are currently taking place, there have been protests about the meetings. A spokesman for Folk Against the G20 (FAG), Mr Jeremy Furtive, explained his organisation's positio...
Read full storyAiden Grimshaw Turns In Yet Another Brilliant X-Factor Performance!
Aiden Grimshaw, the Blackpool lad accused of being "too intense" on the X-Factor, once again triumphantly blew away the judges, the studio audience, and millions of viewers at home last night with a soaring rendition of the Elton John classic 'Rocket...
Read full story"America Still Part of UK", says new-found documents
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Now CAMERON, D.C.) & LONDON - The United States of America was once a former colony of the British Empire, gaining independence from it. Until now. In London, experts at the British Museum have found new documents which means...
Read full storyCameron goes to Yalta (not for his holiday)
CAMERON and Clegg took the train to YALTA. Humbled into submission by the biggest fireworks bonfire any Tory government has presided over, they were still bombastic in attitude. In front of the world press, (many world leaders had also made the...
Read full storyWhy Cats Drink With Bottom Of Tongue, Dogs Eat Shit And Don't Die!
In a $500,000 study lasting ten years and performed by three U.S. scientists, we have finally found why the chicken crosses the road. I'm sorry, that's the NEXT ten year study. Here we learn that cats and dogs are different. "Cats", reported Doct...
Read full storyJamie Lynn Spears Reveals Why Old Friends Hate Britney
Jamie Lynn Spears, younger sister of Britney, was asked why so many people from her past dislike her sister so much. "It's because of something she did a long time ago and they have never forgiven her for it." And what was that? "They took p...
Read full storyNick Clegg to re-introduce cock-fighting
Flogging the work-shy with lengths of birch is just one of the many draconian measures to be introduced by the lib-Con coalition. Nick Clegg robustly denied the new laws are diametrically opposed to Liberalism.'Look, we didn't get a majority, theref...
Read full storyAl Qaeda Regroups in Empty Desert of Foreclosed Homes
LAS VEGAS, Nevada - For the last two years, the Las Vegas metro area has suffered the highest rate of foreclosures in the nation. "It's a ghost town out there," explains Capt. Abel Rodriguez of the Las Vegas police. "No street lights, no people...
Read full storyAnne Shuttlecock In Emotional Supermarket Exchange With Local Woman
Local woman Anne Shuttlecock - long suffering wife of failed Spoofer Martin Shuttlecock got more than she bargained for Saturday on a trip to a local supermarket to do the weekly big shop. Explaining to Skoob News that Shuttlecock hadn't accompani...
Read full storySpoofer Tries Showing Friends his Stories
BIRMINGHAM - Spoofer Inhopeless decided to show a series of spoofs to his friends. Inhopeless, who joined the Spoof only a few weeks ago, has posted over 30 articles on the popular satire website, which he had likened to 'the Onion, but I can have...
Read full storyWind Resources Depleting
A report released recently by the EPA has caused widespread concern in the world energy community. It revealed that some of its findings concerning energy sources were greatly exaggerated, and serious repercussions could be felt world-wide. A ten...
Read full story'Honking Horns, Shouting at Others, Revving Engines Will Make Traffic Move a Hell Load Faster' says Transport Secretary
BIRMINGHAM - A new Ministry of Transport report confirms what everbody has been doing since the 1960s. Honking horns, shouting profanities at other drivers, revving engines do move traffic along faster. The report analysed over 250 miles of motorw...
Read full storyAung San Suu Kyi, Number One Super Guy. Aung San Suu Kyi, Quicker Than The Human Eye.
Proving that the Nobel Peace Prize seems a little hypocritical when given to a person whose existence perpetuates war, Myanmar Opposition leader and Nobel-Winning House-Arrest hottie midget Aung San Suu Kyi was freed Saturday in Myanmar after 15 years in detention, as a huge crowd of young anti-government protesters chanted "We're not old enough to recall your accomplishments." After being inca...
Read full storyAl Gore Wins Lottery In Detroit Porn Shop!
As usual, those that have, get more! Former VP Al Gore, who happened to be giving a speech on how we all should give to pay off our national debt and go to alternative energy, stopped before getting to his limo and made his way to get another blow-up...
Read full storyFat Alcoholics Rejoice: Alcohol-Infused Whipped Cream Hits Shelves Today
It's a bandwidth issue, really: You want to be able to jam as much heart-choking fattening deserts as possible, but your mouth is where the alcohol goes into! How can one destroy his or her liver while eating desserts and sh-t? With Whipped Light...
Read full storyTories Announce Towns, Cities Will Merge In Cost-Cutting Regime
BIRMINVENTRY, EALIMINISTER, MANCHESEEDS - The Tories have announced that cities and towns will merge to form 'supercities'. This happened overnight. Birmingham used to be Europe's largest metropolitian administrative area (by population), however,...
Read full storyAdvertising Firm Ewe Vwon, Under Congressional Investigation
Claiming that a series of popular web advertising campaigns were merely a poor translations of their company's name, Ewe Vwon Limited was still required to appear before Congress to defend accusations of false advertising. Popping up on several po...
Read full storyObama Promises New Era of Cooperative Desperation
President Obama stated that during the next two years he will work with Republicans in the spirit of the fact that there's nothing else he can do anyway. "I look toward a new spirit of helplessness" he declared during his second appearance on...
Read full storyX-Factor's Katie Waissel Attacked By Giant Gorilla
Sources close to X-Factor hate figure Katie Waissel revealed today that on several occasions, the singer has come close to quitting the show. Katie, who has been absolutely slaughtered by the media was apparently sick and tired of being voted in t...
Read full storyVilla Thriller - "We Needed Another Five Minutes" - Sir Alex
In a thriller at the Villa which ended in a 2-2 draw, Sir Alex Ferguson stated that given an extra five minutes, his Manchester United team would have won the match. Seemingly having failed to observe that the referee had already added five and a...
Read full storyKanye West's Career: On Life Support
It's always good to be successful in your particular line of work, even brag about it in your music if you happen to be a musician, but the fates tend to align against you when you actually start believing all the crap that comes out of your own uned...
Read full storyChina Claims It's the New Superpower and Ready to Fail in Afghanistan
SEOUL, South Korea - At the conclusion of the G20 Economic Summit, Chinese president Hu Jintao rebuffed critics and boldly announced, "China is the global leader in trade, industry, wealth, and technological development. We are the new great power.
Read full story12 Step Program Announced for Addicted Black Ops Players
A week after the release of the new Call of Duty: Black Ops video game and with thousands of reports already for joystick addiction, a New York Doctor has put together a rehabilitation program to help wean these depraved video gamers off the "Black O...
Read full storyNew Pop Group Plays Sell-Out Tour, Again
<city famous for its music>, <country of city> - A new group consisting of pretty, young girls/boys played a sellout tour in Europe/America, opening with their hit single on the Billboard charts. The group, not a BAND, (because bands P...
Read full storyTop Gear Franchise Moves to America
Set to premiere next month on basic cable in the U.S., the Americanized version of the hit British series Top Gear, will feature three new hosts and slightly different format best suited for the American automobile consumer market. The theme seems...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's First Appearance On Vampire Diaries In March, 2011
Justin Bieber, who has been popping up on several television shows lately as has two of the Jonas brothers, will make his appearance on "The Vampire Diaries" in March we have been told. His fans will be glad to know that this will be different tha...
Read full storyCenotaph epitaph
London - (RIP Mess): Will the Queen spearhead the nation's mood by joining the Grateful - er...Glorious! - Dead in a Remembrance Sunday shocker? Plans for a poignant Saturday night televised farewell were scrapped earlier this year. Thousands o...
Read full storyParody Week: Fast Food California
Not so much a TV theme parody, just a favorite song that plays into the truth and partial injustice of the fat American persona. To the tune of Hotel California. On a dark SoCal highway, warm smog in my hair Warm smell of fresh pizza, rises up through the air On the right past the stop sign, I saw a glowing red light My stomach growled and my will wore thin I had to stop for a bite.
Read full storyRobert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart To Star In Bonnie And Clyde Remake
Executives at a major studio are confident that they are close to clinching a deal with Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart tying them to a remake of the 1967 gangster movie, Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow were a...
Read full storySpoofer Accidentally Posts Same Spoof Twice
BIRMINGHAM - As today is a slow news day for this reporter, something resembling an interesting story came up. Spoofer Inhopless (rated overall 23rd as of 12.11pm 13/11/10 (GMT)) had accidentally posted the same spoof news story twice. This cause...
Read full storyDepartment of Homeland Security calls on Superman to help with scanning airline passengers
In a move to help quell the uproar over airport full-body scanners, Department of Homeland Security chief Janet Napolitano put in a personal call to the Man of Steel asking for help. The growing backlash from both passengers and pilots prompted an...
Read full storyManchester Horror! Dismembered Gazebos Found Scattered Across City! Fiend Suspected!
Police officials today are calling the discovery of 'dozens' of dismembered Gazebos scattered throughout the city "a fiendish crime of horrific proportions that defy human understanding even for Manchester!" According to a spokesman the unknown s...
Read full storyBanks Want a Labour Government Back
Top Bankers meeting in the dungeons beneath the City have decided they must get a Labour Government back quickly. Rioting students have put the fear of God into them as they see only further trouble ahead. Sending students to prison as you try...
Read full storyClegg in a Hole
It is quite easy to feel no sympathy for Nick Clegg as he slowly sinks into the mire of student politics. Knowing a future society of leaders are presently residing in University he is faced with knowing that they think he is a bare faced liar. Ju...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof: Chapter 2: New World
Usually when a guy wakes up in someone else's bed, he feels a sense of unease and curiosity. My eyes wide open, I observed the thatched roof first. Kinda itchy I suppose. Not as itchy as the bloody bedsheets were. The door opened, and in walked a rather slim and pretty woman wearing what appeared to be a dress. "Signor Blanco, I apologise for disturbing you, but that's nothing compared t...
Read full storyBritish tourists missing, feared dead in Australia
A young British potato farmer and his book keeper wife are missing in Australia. Police fear they may be dead. The couple's Australian-based uncle, Sidney Bollocks, is helping police with their investigation. The couple, who disappeared into the b...
Read full storyBorn to Spoof: The Portal's Secrets - Chapter 1
Wales- Masterchev was at the bar waiting for his favorite Wale's Ale. Skoob pulled the special lever, releasing the amber liquid from its specially made cask made from virgin teak wood imported from Thailand. The two stared at the glass and regarded each other. Masterchev tried to think of the words to confront his sorrow as he lifted the glass to his lips. Jeanlefete had vanished over a month...
Read full storyKid Rock Criticizes Aerosmith's Steven Tyler For Becoming An American Idol Judge
DETROIT - Kid Rock has remarked to a reporter for The Detroit Morning Manifold newspaper that he is surprised that Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler agreed to take the American Idol judge's slot vacated by Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell. Ki...
Read full storySix-Year-Old Boy In Waterloo, Iowa Caught Building An Atomic Bomb
WATERLOO, Iowa - Mr. and Mrs. Franklin Abner Justinpecker of Waterloo were recently paid a visit by the Waterloo Police Department. It seems that their six-year-old boy Tucky has been building an atomic bomb in a backyard shed. Officer Warstone Pr...
Read full storyNew York City Yet Again Attacked for the Umpteemth Time
NEW YORK, NY - Yet again a mixture of terrible things happened to the City of New York, specifically, as usual, the main island of Manhattan, never Brooklyn, Bronx, or Queens. A combination of an asteroid, aliens, and many other things decimated...
Read full storyMan on the Street: G20 Summit
The G20, a group of the top twenty world economies, met in the South Korean capital of Seoul to discuss certain issues, such as currency-fixing and climate change. What do you think? Sally Sparrow, Dudley (Public-Sector worker) - I was once involved in currency fixing. I didn't tell the cops on Jack in Accounting, in exchange for a couple of decimal points on my paycheque...you ain't gonna p...
Read full storyThe Guardian Readership's Acceptable Version Of The Lord Of The Rings Part 1
Froduh Baggins was unsure of the task brought upon him when he inherited the One Ring from his Uncle Bilbo. Of course, being a lefty, he believed that the Shire Government should have taken the Ring in inheritance tax. Nevertheless, he gathered together some of his companions, and being the communist morons that they were, they desired to destroy the vast wealth which the One Ring brought, so t...
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