Tories Announce Towns, Cities Will Merge In Cost-Cutting Regime

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Tories Announce Towns, Cities Will Merge In Cost-Cutting Regime
Supercities will be recognisable by the sheer number of confused people wandering around

BIRMINVENTRY, EALIMINISTER, MANCHESEEDS - The Tories have announced that cities and towns will merge to form 'supercities'. This happened overnight.

Birmingham used to be Europe's largest metropolitian administrative area (by population), however, it has merged with Solihull, Wasall, Wolverhampton and Coventry to form Birmventry, the largest metropolition administtrative area in the western world bar New York.

Also Westminister and Ealing will merge to form Ealiminister, which, together, stil doesn't have as many people as Birmingham did.

David Cameron said in a press conference in Ealiminister, "I know this means we will lump together various communities together, and we will force city lines to disappear, but it's for the best."

The new scheme will then merge together constituencies, meaning less seats overall in Parliament, which means less money being spent on MPs.

However some citizens will have to share crime statistics with other lowlife parts of other towns.

"I used to live in a nice area of Birmingham," Mrs. Sarah Dargie said. "Now the supercity council says that the crime stats for my area has gone up, because they erased a city border, meaning I share land with a bunch of tossers from Wasall (Birmingham's New Jersey)."

The next step is to merge supercities, meaning that Birminventry will then merge with Cardwyth (Cardiff and Aberswystwth) to form Birminventrycardwyth, making it THE largest metropolitian administrative area by population in the western world besting NYC by 200,000 people.

Obama is considering a similar approach to states, however the state of New York will not want New Jersey scum, trash, crime and other loserifficness dumped on it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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