Obama Promises New Era of Cooperative Desperation

Funny story written by Jeff Brone

Saturday, 13 November 2010

President Obama stated that during the next two years he will work with Republicans in the spirit of the fact that there's nothing else he can do anyway.

"I look toward a new spirit of helplessness" he declared during his second appearance on "The View" this week and added "I know the road before me is unavoidable and distasteful. Nevertheless, I welcome working productively with the Republicans I hated like salmonella for the past two years."

The President said he was "far from bitter. Indeed, alienated and crushingly disappointed are better terms" and pointed out with his characteristic eloquence that "perhaps there's no better time to start working with the opposition than when you have no choice and are forced to do it even though you would rather drink bleach."

He concluded by saying that "Vice President Joe Byner and I look forward to the task at hand, and by 'look forward' I mean wish it was all over even if it meant I wasn't president anymore." He added "I wasn't supposed to say that last part out loud."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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