Written by Fergus Garland

Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Nick Clegg to re-introduce cock-fighting
Lib-Dem Minister shows the benefits of the coalition

Flogging the work-shy with lengths of birch is just one of the many draconian measures to be introduced by the lib-Con coalition. Nick Clegg robustly denied the new laws are diametrically opposed to Liberalism.'Look, we didn't get a majority, therefore that gives us carte blanch to do whatever we want.' Nick said .

Liberal Democrat MP's worried about their chances of re-election were told not to worry about them but to think of their own careers and income as the 5 years of shared power was easily enough time to rake it in.

'I know some people will think we are hypocrites and I am weak willed.' said Nick as he lit a cigarette with a burning 'pledge to win the student vote' leaflet
'but as I said to Davy, fuck them'

New Post-election objectives include a Bill to reintroduce cock-fighting and a re-naming of many Universities back to Polytechnic Colleges.
'If students want to play silly buggers,then bring it on. I have taken on nicotine addiction and almost defeated it, if the lower demographic want a fight

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Nick Clegg




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